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Washington , DC (AP) -- Congress today
announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced
to India as of July 1, 2007.
The move is being made in order to save the
President' s $500,000 yearly salary, and also
a record $2.4 trillion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead the office
has incurred during the last 5 years..
"We believe this is a wise financial move.
The cost savings are huge." stated
Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We
cannot remain competitive on the world stage
with the current level of cash outlay."
Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this
morning of his termination. Preparations for
the job move have been underway for some
time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices,
Mumbai , India will assume the office of
President as of July 1, 2007.
Mr. Singh was born in the United States
while his Indian parents were vacationing at
Niagara Falls , thus making him eligible for
the position. He will receive a salary of
$320 (USD) a month but with no health
coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to
handle his job responsibilities without a
support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India , he will be working
primarily at night, when few offices of the
US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my
day job at the Dell Computer call center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always
hoped I would be President." A Congressional
spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may
not be fully aware of all the issues involved
in the office of President, this should not
be a problem as President Bush was not
familiar with the issues either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that
will enable him to respond effectively to
most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns
without having to understand the underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools
work," stated the spokesperson. "President
Bush has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage,
expenses, and salary until his final day of
employment. Following a two week waiting
period, he will be eligible for $140 a week
unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his
unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
limit.
Mr. Bush has been provided the
outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to
help him write a resume and prepare for his
upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in
securing a new position due to limited
practical or successful work experience.
A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was
suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands, as well as his goofy smile.
announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced
to India as of July 1, 2007.
The move is being made in order to save the
President' s $500,000 yearly salary, and also
a record $2.4 trillion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead the office
has incurred during the last 5 years..
"We believe this is a wise financial move.
The cost savings are huge." stated
Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We
cannot remain competitive on the world stage
with the current level of cash outlay."
Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this
morning of his termination. Preparations for
the job move have been underway for some
time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices,
Mumbai , India will assume the office of
President as of July 1, 2007.
Mr. Singh was born in the United States
while his Indian parents were vacationing at
Niagara Falls , thus making him eligible for
the position. He will receive a salary of
$320 (USD) a month but with no health
coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to
handle his job responsibilities without a
support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India , he will be working
primarily at night, when few offices of the
US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my
day job at the Dell Computer call center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always
hoped I would be President." A Congressional
spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may
not be fully aware of all the issues involved
in the office of President, this should not
be a problem as President Bush was not
familiar with the issues either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that
will enable him to respond effectively to
most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns
without having to understand the underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools
work," stated the spokesperson. "President
Bush has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage,
expenses, and salary until his final day of
employment. Following a two week waiting
period, he will be eligible for $140 a week
unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his
unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
limit.
Mr. Bush has been provided the
outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to
help him write a resume and prepare for his
upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in
securing a new position due to limited
practical or successful work experience.
A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was
suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands, as well as his goofy smile.
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