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************************************************** ********************
I can’t predict when , but sooner or later the practice of retiring an athlete’s number will someday become obsolete....
It must. It’s pure mathematics. Teams will ultimately run out of numbers.
Then players will be forced to wear Triple Digit Numerals on their jerseys.
Then they will look like a bunch of Roller Derby Skaters.
I’m kidding about the 3 digit jersey … well, half kidding … it would take 100 or more years for that to happen … that is, if team owners are extremely selective in whom they wish to eternally honor.
Sometimes they are, but other times they are not.
Mark Messier , the native of Edmonton, Alberta , had his number retired by the NY Rangers last week.
Nice gesture , but it was quite uncalled for.
Two years after he led The Rangers to a Stanley Cup , he went free agent and left the team for Vancouver. Many Ranger fans were disappointed in choosing to leave. Then … 3 years later, he returned. The Rangers have sucked ever since.
Yes , he was THE Main Man and the inspirational leader ( guaranteeing victory in one game and getting the hat trick …. even netting the Cup winning goal in game 7, 1994 ) in the Rangers earning their first Cup in 54 years, which was monumental for New York sports fans, no doubt, and Messier will be remembered fondly and with reverance.
But Retire Number 11 ?
Nope.
There was no loyalty in his Baling Out on the Rangers in 1997 to play for Vancouver and that should have automatically disqualified Messier from any such fabric raising ceremony. Had he continued to be a Ranger and not jumped ship , would he have been worthy ?
Yes
( He hasn’t had a Messier - Type season in the last 8 years he’s played … he’s hung around the league too long after his prime, but, considering how very great he was, we can sweep that one under the rug. But when the question of loyalty comes into play , that’s something that can’t be ignored )
By Contrast
George Brett was one of the greatest ball players ever, played his entire career for The Kansas City Royals, led them to 6 division Championships and a World Championship. His achievements , including a run at Ted Williams .400 season batting average , are well documented.
Brett would scoff at reporters who made a fuss over him after playing one of his many amazing games … Once, a reporter congratulated him and Brett explained:
Why ? For doing what I’m paid so well to do ? I owe it to my team mates and the owner who employs me. I’m supposed to play every game like I did today. That’s why I’m here. Besides,The Royals have a club built on teamwork, not on individuals.
While these two Athletes played different sports ( which really doesn’t enter into the equation ) and are rightfully considered all–time greats, only one of them truly deserved the honor.
Twelve years after winning The Cup and the Ranger owners and fans are still celebrating .
It’s silly.
MSG carefully picked a slow sports week for their tribute to Messier. Cute little ancillary move by MSG … selling Messier paraphernalia to all those swept up in the moment.
And one WFAN announcer / shill called last week’s event “ One of The Greatest in New York Sports History “
Not even close. How old is he ? Very young , I imagine.
The Rangers winning it all in ’94 … surely one of the greatest happenings in New York Sports.
But This Messier Thing … yeah it’s nice … and heartwarming … and nostalgic ….
But it’s nothing more than “The Feel Good Event “ of the winter of 2006.
************************************************** *******************
“ Dad , I’m going to a party …. Would you do my homework for me ? “
“ I’m sorry , son , but it wouldn’t be right. “
“ Probably not, Dad , but give it a try anyway “
************************************************** *********************
Slapstick Comedy at it’s finest ….
In a comedy of errors , Pittsburgh advances on to The Penultimate Round ….
Idiots #’s 1 and 2 … Say hello to The Harpers
Last Saturday afternoon , Indy Colt cornerback Nick Harper was slashed with a knife by his wife Daniell who was then taken into custody by police for battery and assault with a deadly weapon.
She tried to beat the rap by explaining to the authorities that it was their 25th anniversary and the traditional gift for this occasion is sterling silver.
( you’d better laugh now because that’s my best joke )
BTW …. The Harpers are both 31 years of age, which kind of threw up a red flag.
Idiot # 3 … Jerome Bettis with that Ridiculous Fumble
Thank God for Ben.
He took Bettis off the hook.
And a pretty damn big hook it was
If Ben ( who will never be confused with anyone remotely fleet of foot ) hadn’t gotten to Nick Harper , who recovered Bettis’ cough up and most certainly would have returned it for a TD had he not been a stabbing victim the day before, Bettis’ terrific career would have been forever clouded by his world class blunder …
Idiot # 4 … Mike Vanderjagt
Can’t miss during the regular season , can’t make one in the playoffs
************************************************** *********************
It was only a matter of time ……
that The Colts would be eliminated from the playoffs .
Tony Dungy ( hahahaha … like you didn’t know this was coming !!! )
I know , it’s overdone already , but I really have to …..
Let’s put Dungy to rest for once and for all and hopefully I won’t be wasting your time and mine bashing this buffoon next year in “Hip” because he shouldn’t be allowed within a 1,000 mile radius of any city with an NFL Franchise.
Do the Geography Math and that will place him somewhere in The Canadian Wilderness.
Incompetent
Fraud
Con Artist
Kicked out of Tampa Bay … Bucs won The Superbowl the very next season.
Wormed his way to Indianapolis ( who were in the playoffs 2 of the previous 3 seasons before he was ever there )
Bullshitting his way from town to town like a common grifter.
The 2005 Colts were a team that every coach dreams of coaching …. Lightning offense , punishing defense , talented special teams. They made a mockery of their opponents in the regular season … at least one touchdown better than any of their nearest competitors.
Well rested ( too rested ) and healthy going into the playoffs , a first round bye , playing at home, a double digit favorite.
And they got beat by the misleading score of 21-18 in a game which wasn’t nearly that close. They were in trouble days before the game ever started … they were not properly prepared and clearly outclassed both on the chalkboard and on the field.
In a sport where emotion is pretty much everything , last Sunday Cowher did everything but goose his players in the ass … while Dungy was cowering on the sidelines … humble, and weak … a church mouse in a man’s game. Even the waterboys had more swagger. He couldn’t get his team up for a playoff game in their own back yard.
The Steelers looked bigger, faster, and always in the right position … Why ? … These are the same 2 teams who played in the regular season. The answer ? Simply put … look to the coaches.
While The Steelers were jumping through hoops for their prognathic coach, who was prepared and passionate, The Colts were leaderless, directionless, and flat out flat.
And Dungy just stood there the entire game without so much as a football thought … said very little or nothing at all … no fire … no juice …. Ever notice that none of his staff is ever in the players’ faces ? There’s just no chemistry among the players and coaches. Makes you wonder if they ever have meetings in the same room.
Totally Inexcusable … whether or not it was Unacceptable clearly depends on The Colt front office and their commitment to winning a championship.
At one point during the game, in a 4th and 2 situation , down 21-3 , Manning , sensing that another coaching mistake was about to occur , waved off the punting team ( another plain vanilla and totally scared move on Dungy’s part ), keeping his offense on the field , converted the 4th down , and led his team down the field. He did the unthinkable … He underminded the authority of a head coach , in front of the entire population of North America no less.
He knew he had to do something … his teammates had been standing around all game long , desperately looking anywhere for the leadership they never received from their mummified coaching staff.
A sad state of affairs ? You bet it is !!!!
While no player should ever get away with pulling a stunt like Manning did, it should have never happened to begin with , not if the coach has even one Iota of the players’ respect.
Can you imagine a quarterback on the field blatantly overriding Bill Cowher ? Mike Shanahan ? Bill Belichek ? John Fox ? Bill Parcells ? Most anyone other than Dungy ?
Of course you can’t ! (I heard that Favre did it once and the coach was let go shortly afterward.)
All year long I was thinking that when The Colts lose ( and they will … and they did ) , Dungy will SCREW UP somewhere along the line … and he did. The only questions were where ,when and how.
Now we know the answers.
THIS JERKOFF GAVE HIS TEAM AT LEAST 3 WEEKS OFF BEFORE THE STEELER GAME …
Not even an Arena Football Coach coach would have done that.
You just can’t go on making excuses for this poor excuse for a coach , he’s been faking it and bullshitting his way all along up to now but it’s worn real thin.
BTW … check this out !!! After the game Dungy was quoted as saying:
"Well from a fan's standpoint we didn't play quite as well as we wanted to.”
What the fuck does that mean ?
Did he and Herm Edwards get left back together in the 5th grade ?
Bottom line … For The Colts, the combination of Dungy and Manning is all wrong , it’s just a bad fit … and change must be made. Maybe Peyton has now realized that. How can he not ?
If his father so much as hints to his son that he will never really succeed in his current situation with that nit wit, either of 2 things will happen …
Dungy will be terminated , and rightly so
or
Peyton will demand to be traded.
“Nice Guy” ? That’s all I ever hear about Tony Dungy .
And it usually ends there.
But “Nice” is irrelevant.
In the business of football, nice means nothing.
The Colts need a Taskmastering Swashbuckling Bastard who can harness all that talent and buttress it with leadership and confidence.
Look for some kind of announcement from the Colts management in the coming months … that is , if they care. In a league where decent QB’s are at a premium , it would be in their best interests if Indy would do anything possible to hold on to Manning.
Sooner or later , Something’s Gotta Give
************************************************** ***********************
How do you make a Blond laugh in church on Sunday ?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
************************************************** *********************
If I were a fan ……
More specifically, a Patriot fan …..
I’d be ripping mad over the officiating last Saturday night at Mile High.
The pass interference call was obviously bogus, but it was that other horrendous call really grabbed my attention and raises a lot of eyebrows as well.
Common sense and rudimentary geometric skills were all that were needed to rule that after his interception , Champ Bailey’s fumble was out of the endzone and indeed a touchback, with New England then receiving the ball at their own 20 yardline. When Ben Watson caught up with him , Bailey was carrying the ball in his right hand , and fumbled it in front of his moving torso. In seeing where the ball then landed on the fly , there should have been no doubt whatsoever as to the correct call.
Phil Simms got it right … “ one straight line from where the ball was jarred loose to the area where the ball landed on the fly … and there’s your answer.”
The entire momentum and character of the game changed as Denver walked it in on the ensuing first and goal play.
Most of The Patriot fans in Bettors’ did not make a big deal of this criminal action but if you guys would have gone crazy , you sure had every reason. ( Maybe you figured it was a payback of sorts for the favorable call vs. The Raiders in snowy Foxboro )
The refs were lazy , narrow minded , and yielded to the roar of the hometown crowd.
************************************************** *********************
Seattle opened up at –6 , first flash , last Sunday evening.
The heaviest hitters, waiting on line and chomping at the bit, bought Carolina down to 4.
Will The Panthers’ Road Show Continue ?
The Linesmaker thinks so.
(For selfish reasons , a Carolina vs. Pittsburgh Superbowl would yield the most bang for my wagering buck.)
PS When I finish sorting out the reasons why my best friend made Denver only -3 , I may have a juicy pick for Sunday.
************************************************** *********************
One die hard Steeler fan actually had a heart attack in a bar while watching Bettis puke it up against The Colts last Sunday.
He was rushed to the hospital and with the aid of a pacemaker and proper medication, will be OK .
That’s the most important thing.
But …. as long as he’s there , he should have his head examined too.
************************************************** ********************
John and Lisa threw a party celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary and everyone had a great time.
After the last guest left and as they were cleaning up, Lisa punched John really hard on his arm.
John asked : “ what in the heck was that for ? “
Lisa answered : “ That’s for 20 years of bad sex. “
John thought about it for a while, then gave Lisa a slap on her arm …. and when his wife asked the same question he said:
“ That’s for knowing the difference !!! “
************************************************** ***********************
I love road victories in sports …
For me , there’s nothing like watching a fight where one boxer goes into another’s home town, and amidst the hostile environment, punches the living crap out of him left and right … takes his title … then leaves.
Or the Flyers going into the Garden and putting a good good beatin on the Rangers … that’s always a joy to behold.
Or a college football team that travels into Ann Arbor and kicks the snot out of the hosting Wolverines … 107,000 stunned and heavy hearted fans sitting there in the freezing cold … all looking like they just had 2 shots of novocain … and those once pretty but now stupid looking cheerleaders with that dye from their silly face paint dripping down their cheeks from the tears of disappointment.
Now before you have me committed as some sick psycho misanthrope , just hear me out … OK ?
I don’t know … at first it was probably all that Prep School and Ivy League Rah Rah Sis Coom Bah, Root for the Home Team stuff that I was force fed as a youth.
But it has become much deeper than that …. so please read carefully
Being the superstitious man that I am , I really believe that if 100,000 people are all ecstatically happy at the same time in one particular place over something as meaningless as a sporting event , there's a good chance that 100,000 people will be miserably heartbroken somewhere else over something far more serious.
Although one can never quantify emotion , theres got to be some kinda Parity Law for Sadness and Joy in the world in which we live.
And may the very worst heartache that anyone should ever feel be that “his“ or “her“ team lose some game which in the grand scheme of things , means absolutely dick.
************************************************** *******************
[IMG]http://us.a1.yahoofs.com/users/41b19...IgrzDBNiwFmkOv[/IMG]
************************************************** *********************
A young Lawyer meets The Devil in a bathroom at a Bar Association Convention ...
The Devil says to him : “ in exchange for your soul and the souls everyone in your family , I will make you a full partner in your firm “
The Lawyer says: “ Soooooo … what’s the catch ? “
************************************************** *********************
Stephen A Smith
Ever see or listen to this guy ?
Another Banana … courtesy of , who else ? … ESPN
This one should be out on the street chasing ambulances.
************************************************** **********************
Three engineers are arguing one day over which is better … Mechanical, Electrical, or Civil Engineering ...
The first one said that God had to be a Mechanical engineer because, after all, look at the human body … it’s locomotion and how it’s constructed with all it’s joints and the stress it endures.
The next one said that God had to be an Electrical engineer because of the central nervous system with it’s vast and intricate network.
The Civil Engineer told both of the other 2 that they were crazy … “ God had to be a Civil engineer because who else would have run a waste disposal pipeline right through a great recreational area ? “
************************************************** **********************
I can’t predict when , but sooner or later the practice of retiring an athlete’s number will someday become obsolete....
It must. It’s pure mathematics. Teams will ultimately run out of numbers.
Then players will be forced to wear Triple Digit Numerals on their jerseys.
Then they will look like a bunch of Roller Derby Skaters.
I’m kidding about the 3 digit jersey … well, half kidding … it would take 100 or more years for that to happen … that is, if team owners are extremely selective in whom they wish to eternally honor.
Sometimes they are, but other times they are not.
Mark Messier , the native of Edmonton, Alberta , had his number retired by the NY Rangers last week.
Nice gesture , but it was quite uncalled for.
Two years after he led The Rangers to a Stanley Cup , he went free agent and left the team for Vancouver. Many Ranger fans were disappointed in choosing to leave. Then … 3 years later, he returned. The Rangers have sucked ever since.
Yes , he was THE Main Man and the inspirational leader ( guaranteeing victory in one game and getting the hat trick …. even netting the Cup winning goal in game 7, 1994 ) in the Rangers earning their first Cup in 54 years, which was monumental for New York sports fans, no doubt, and Messier will be remembered fondly and with reverance.
But Retire Number 11 ?
Nope.
There was no loyalty in his Baling Out on the Rangers in 1997 to play for Vancouver and that should have automatically disqualified Messier from any such fabric raising ceremony. Had he continued to be a Ranger and not jumped ship , would he have been worthy ?
Yes
( He hasn’t had a Messier - Type season in the last 8 years he’s played … he’s hung around the league too long after his prime, but, considering how very great he was, we can sweep that one under the rug. But when the question of loyalty comes into play , that’s something that can’t be ignored )
By Contrast
George Brett was one of the greatest ball players ever, played his entire career for The Kansas City Royals, led them to 6 division Championships and a World Championship. His achievements , including a run at Ted Williams .400 season batting average , are well documented.
Brett would scoff at reporters who made a fuss over him after playing one of his many amazing games … Once, a reporter congratulated him and Brett explained:
Why ? For doing what I’m paid so well to do ? I owe it to my team mates and the owner who employs me. I’m supposed to play every game like I did today. That’s why I’m here. Besides,The Royals have a club built on teamwork, not on individuals.
While these two Athletes played different sports ( which really doesn’t enter into the equation ) and are rightfully considered all–time greats, only one of them truly deserved the honor.
Twelve years after winning The Cup and the Ranger owners and fans are still celebrating .
It’s silly.
MSG carefully picked a slow sports week for their tribute to Messier. Cute little ancillary move by MSG … selling Messier paraphernalia to all those swept up in the moment.
And one WFAN announcer / shill called last week’s event “ One of The Greatest in New York Sports History “
Not even close. How old is he ? Very young , I imagine.
The Rangers winning it all in ’94 … surely one of the greatest happenings in New York Sports.
But This Messier Thing … yeah it’s nice … and heartwarming … and nostalgic ….
But it’s nothing more than “The Feel Good Event “ of the winter of 2006.
************************************************** *******************
“ Dad , I’m going to a party …. Would you do my homework for me ? “
“ I’m sorry , son , but it wouldn’t be right. “
“ Probably not, Dad , but give it a try anyway “
************************************************** *********************
Slapstick Comedy at it’s finest ….
In a comedy of errors , Pittsburgh advances on to The Penultimate Round ….
Idiots #’s 1 and 2 … Say hello to The Harpers
Last Saturday afternoon , Indy Colt cornerback Nick Harper was slashed with a knife by his wife Daniell who was then taken into custody by police for battery and assault with a deadly weapon.
She tried to beat the rap by explaining to the authorities that it was their 25th anniversary and the traditional gift for this occasion is sterling silver.
( you’d better laugh now because that’s my best joke )
BTW …. The Harpers are both 31 years of age, which kind of threw up a red flag.
Idiot # 3 … Jerome Bettis with that Ridiculous Fumble
Thank God for Ben.
He took Bettis off the hook.
And a pretty damn big hook it was
If Ben ( who will never be confused with anyone remotely fleet of foot ) hadn’t gotten to Nick Harper , who recovered Bettis’ cough up and most certainly would have returned it for a TD had he not been a stabbing victim the day before, Bettis’ terrific career would have been forever clouded by his world class blunder …
Idiot # 4 … Mike Vanderjagt
Can’t miss during the regular season , can’t make one in the playoffs
************************************************** *********************
It was only a matter of time ……
that The Colts would be eliminated from the playoffs .
Tony Dungy ( hahahaha … like you didn’t know this was coming !!! )
I know , it’s overdone already , but I really have to …..
Let’s put Dungy to rest for once and for all and hopefully I won’t be wasting your time and mine bashing this buffoon next year in “Hip” because he shouldn’t be allowed within a 1,000 mile radius of any city with an NFL Franchise.
Do the Geography Math and that will place him somewhere in The Canadian Wilderness.
Incompetent
Fraud
Con Artist
Kicked out of Tampa Bay … Bucs won The Superbowl the very next season.
Wormed his way to Indianapolis ( who were in the playoffs 2 of the previous 3 seasons before he was ever there )
Bullshitting his way from town to town like a common grifter.
The 2005 Colts were a team that every coach dreams of coaching …. Lightning offense , punishing defense , talented special teams. They made a mockery of their opponents in the regular season … at least one touchdown better than any of their nearest competitors.
Well rested ( too rested ) and healthy going into the playoffs , a first round bye , playing at home, a double digit favorite.
And they got beat by the misleading score of 21-18 in a game which wasn’t nearly that close. They were in trouble days before the game ever started … they were not properly prepared and clearly outclassed both on the chalkboard and on the field.
In a sport where emotion is pretty much everything , last Sunday Cowher did everything but goose his players in the ass … while Dungy was cowering on the sidelines … humble, and weak … a church mouse in a man’s game. Even the waterboys had more swagger. He couldn’t get his team up for a playoff game in their own back yard.
The Steelers looked bigger, faster, and always in the right position … Why ? … These are the same 2 teams who played in the regular season. The answer ? Simply put … look to the coaches.
While The Steelers were jumping through hoops for their prognathic coach, who was prepared and passionate, The Colts were leaderless, directionless, and flat out flat.
And Dungy just stood there the entire game without so much as a football thought … said very little or nothing at all … no fire … no juice …. Ever notice that none of his staff is ever in the players’ faces ? There’s just no chemistry among the players and coaches. Makes you wonder if they ever have meetings in the same room.
Totally Inexcusable … whether or not it was Unacceptable clearly depends on The Colt front office and their commitment to winning a championship.
At one point during the game, in a 4th and 2 situation , down 21-3 , Manning , sensing that another coaching mistake was about to occur , waved off the punting team ( another plain vanilla and totally scared move on Dungy’s part ), keeping his offense on the field , converted the 4th down , and led his team down the field. He did the unthinkable … He underminded the authority of a head coach , in front of the entire population of North America no less.
He knew he had to do something … his teammates had been standing around all game long , desperately looking anywhere for the leadership they never received from their mummified coaching staff.
A sad state of affairs ? You bet it is !!!!
While no player should ever get away with pulling a stunt like Manning did, it should have never happened to begin with , not if the coach has even one Iota of the players’ respect.
Can you imagine a quarterback on the field blatantly overriding Bill Cowher ? Mike Shanahan ? Bill Belichek ? John Fox ? Bill Parcells ? Most anyone other than Dungy ?
Of course you can’t ! (I heard that Favre did it once and the coach was let go shortly afterward.)
All year long I was thinking that when The Colts lose ( and they will … and they did ) , Dungy will SCREW UP somewhere along the line … and he did. The only questions were where ,when and how.
Now we know the answers.
THIS JERKOFF GAVE HIS TEAM AT LEAST 3 WEEKS OFF BEFORE THE STEELER GAME …
Not even an Arena Football Coach coach would have done that.
You just can’t go on making excuses for this poor excuse for a coach , he’s been faking it and bullshitting his way all along up to now but it’s worn real thin.
BTW … check this out !!! After the game Dungy was quoted as saying:
"Well from a fan's standpoint we didn't play quite as well as we wanted to.”
What the fuck does that mean ?
Did he and Herm Edwards get left back together in the 5th grade ?
Bottom line … For The Colts, the combination of Dungy and Manning is all wrong , it’s just a bad fit … and change must be made. Maybe Peyton has now realized that. How can he not ?
If his father so much as hints to his son that he will never really succeed in his current situation with that nit wit, either of 2 things will happen …
Dungy will be terminated , and rightly so
or
Peyton will demand to be traded.
“Nice Guy” ? That’s all I ever hear about Tony Dungy .
And it usually ends there.
But “Nice” is irrelevant.
In the business of football, nice means nothing.
The Colts need a Taskmastering Swashbuckling Bastard who can harness all that talent and buttress it with leadership and confidence.
Look for some kind of announcement from the Colts management in the coming months … that is , if they care. In a league where decent QB’s are at a premium , it would be in their best interests if Indy would do anything possible to hold on to Manning.
Sooner or later , Something’s Gotta Give
************************************************** ***********************
How do you make a Blond laugh in church on Sunday ?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
************************************************** *********************
If I were a fan ……
More specifically, a Patriot fan …..
I’d be ripping mad over the officiating last Saturday night at Mile High.
The pass interference call was obviously bogus, but it was that other horrendous call really grabbed my attention and raises a lot of eyebrows as well.
Common sense and rudimentary geometric skills were all that were needed to rule that after his interception , Champ Bailey’s fumble was out of the endzone and indeed a touchback, with New England then receiving the ball at their own 20 yardline. When Ben Watson caught up with him , Bailey was carrying the ball in his right hand , and fumbled it in front of his moving torso. In seeing where the ball then landed on the fly , there should have been no doubt whatsoever as to the correct call.
Phil Simms got it right … “ one straight line from where the ball was jarred loose to the area where the ball landed on the fly … and there’s your answer.”
The entire momentum and character of the game changed as Denver walked it in on the ensuing first and goal play.
Most of The Patriot fans in Bettors’ did not make a big deal of this criminal action but if you guys would have gone crazy , you sure had every reason. ( Maybe you figured it was a payback of sorts for the favorable call vs. The Raiders in snowy Foxboro )
The refs were lazy , narrow minded , and yielded to the roar of the hometown crowd.
************************************************** *********************
Seattle opened up at –6 , first flash , last Sunday evening.
The heaviest hitters, waiting on line and chomping at the bit, bought Carolina down to 4.
Will The Panthers’ Road Show Continue ?
The Linesmaker thinks so.
(For selfish reasons , a Carolina vs. Pittsburgh Superbowl would yield the most bang for my wagering buck.)
PS When I finish sorting out the reasons why my best friend made Denver only -3 , I may have a juicy pick for Sunday.
************************************************** *********************
One die hard Steeler fan actually had a heart attack in a bar while watching Bettis puke it up against The Colts last Sunday.
He was rushed to the hospital and with the aid of a pacemaker and proper medication, will be OK .
That’s the most important thing.
But …. as long as he’s there , he should have his head examined too.
************************************************** ********************
John and Lisa threw a party celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary and everyone had a great time.
After the last guest left and as they were cleaning up, Lisa punched John really hard on his arm.
John asked : “ what in the heck was that for ? “
Lisa answered : “ That’s for 20 years of bad sex. “
John thought about it for a while, then gave Lisa a slap on her arm …. and when his wife asked the same question he said:
“ That’s for knowing the difference !!! “
************************************************** ***********************
I love road victories in sports …
For me , there’s nothing like watching a fight where one boxer goes into another’s home town, and amidst the hostile environment, punches the living crap out of him left and right … takes his title … then leaves.
Or the Flyers going into the Garden and putting a good good beatin on the Rangers … that’s always a joy to behold.
Or a college football team that travels into Ann Arbor and kicks the snot out of the hosting Wolverines … 107,000 stunned and heavy hearted fans sitting there in the freezing cold … all looking like they just had 2 shots of novocain … and those once pretty but now stupid looking cheerleaders with that dye from their silly face paint dripping down their cheeks from the tears of disappointment.
Now before you have me committed as some sick psycho misanthrope , just hear me out … OK ?
I don’t know … at first it was probably all that Prep School and Ivy League Rah Rah Sis Coom Bah, Root for the Home Team stuff that I was force fed as a youth.
But it has become much deeper than that …. so please read carefully
Being the superstitious man that I am , I really believe that if 100,000 people are all ecstatically happy at the same time in one particular place over something as meaningless as a sporting event , there's a good chance that 100,000 people will be miserably heartbroken somewhere else over something far more serious.
Although one can never quantify emotion , theres got to be some kinda Parity Law for Sadness and Joy in the world in which we live.
And may the very worst heartache that anyone should ever feel be that “his“ or “her“ team lose some game which in the grand scheme of things , means absolutely dick.
************************************************** *******************
[IMG]http://us.a1.yahoofs.com/users/41b19...IgrzDBNiwFmkOv[/IMG]
************************************************** *********************
A young Lawyer meets The Devil in a bathroom at a Bar Association Convention ...
The Devil says to him : “ in exchange for your soul and the souls everyone in your family , I will make you a full partner in your firm “
The Lawyer says: “ Soooooo … what’s the catch ? “
************************************************** *********************
Stephen A Smith
Ever see or listen to this guy ?
Another Banana … courtesy of , who else ? … ESPN
This one should be out on the street chasing ambulances.
************************************************** **********************
Three engineers are arguing one day over which is better … Mechanical, Electrical, or Civil Engineering ...
The first one said that God had to be a Mechanical engineer because, after all, look at the human body … it’s locomotion and how it’s constructed with all it’s joints and the stress it endures.
The next one said that God had to be an Electrical engineer because of the central nervous system with it’s vast and intricate network.
The Civil Engineer told both of the other 2 that they were crazy … “ God had to be a Civil engineer because who else would have run a waste disposal pipeline right through a great recreational area ? “
************************************************** **********************
It's always noon somewhere! 
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