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Another wagering story ….
Back then , New York had some great Discos … Studio 54, Xenon, The Underground … in Manhattan, and Decameron's, Zachary’s, and Uncle Sam’s in Long Island, just to name a few.
( Frankie B …. Ummmmmm, Cheecho used to frequent these also when he lived in New York).
But none brought back fonder memories than a Club named “231” , located on Old Country Road, across from The Roosevelt Field Shopping Complex.
I’ll explain why.
On June 11th,1982 Gentleman Gerry Cooney was to meet undefeated WBC Champion Larry Holmes in Las Vegas for one of the most provocative and anticipated heavyweight title bouts of the modern era. As the “Great White Hope”, Cooney went into the fight packing a devastating left hook, and had punched Ken Norton and a few other fighters into oblivion the year before. He is a native of Huntington, Long Island … I have friends who know him and speak well in his behalf.
Cooney was fighting to become the first white man to hold the heavyweight championship since Ingemar Johnasson beat Floyd Patterson 33 years prior.
Well, one night around 3 weeks before the fight , as a girlfriend and I ( a bachelor at the time ) were leaving 231 at around 3:30 AM , guess who strolled in the club ? ….. Cooney , all alone … with no body guards or entourage hanging on .
I was a big fight fan ( back in the era when Boxing was truly great ) and would go Madison Square Garden once in a while when there was a dynamite card. ( My favorite of all time is Roberto Duran, and I have a great story about Roberto )
But back to Cooney
Our eyes lit up in amazement … and not because of seeing a “celebrity” … We looked at each other asking : “ What in the hell is he doing coming in here at all hours of the night while he’s supposed to be in training for Holmes ?
We discretely waited outside for a few minutes minutes after he was inside, and a few innocent questions for the doorman ( bouncer ) who knew us revealed that Cooney was a regular there and kept frequenting The Club even though the Holmes fight was soon going to happen.
BINGO !!! That was all we had to hear !!!
Talk about your being at the right place and most definitely at the right time.
In the ensuing weeks as the fight drew closer there was so much hype for Cooney that with each passing day all of The New York Newspapers were making it appear most likely that the Heavyweight Champ will reside in Long Island rather than Easton, Pennsylvania. And as more and more people bought into their sensational journalism, sentimental money was pouring in by the truckloads on the local fighter.
But WE knew better.
I had seen all of Larry’s fights, and while he never had quite the look or talked the talk , all in all he was a pretty damn great Champion, serious about his craft.
We joked about how we could picture Cooney jogging every morning on a tree lined street saying to himself: “ Man I just gotta get out of these beautiful suburbs. “
We then pictured Holmes training as hard as ever and saying to himself: “ All those years of washing cars for a lousy living and being the under The Man’s Thumb …. I think I’ll do an extra 3 miles today. “
So we made our move !!!!
We went to a movie theatre to see the fight, and the crowd was mostly Caucasian … very exuberant , and VERY PRO COONEY … so much so that we seemed a bit out of place and just a tad uncomfortable. There most likely would have been a SITUATION if the people around us had ever gotten wind that deep down my girlfriend and I were looking for Larry to give Gerry the beating of his life.
So we played it cool with an occasional smile to our “ neighbors “ , but whispered in each other’s ear when we said anything, and squeezed each other’s hand during the fight.
The crowd went into a frenzy when seeing Cooney enter the ring, and equally as silent as Holmes and his team walked the runway …. then stepped up to defend what was rightfully his.
It was clear from the start that what Lauren and I had witnessed at 231 would spell disaster for Cooney, triumph for our guy , and bitter disappointment for the rest of the audience. Holmes had too much guile and class for his opponent and dropped Cooney with a right-hand in only the second round. Larry then piled on the pain with a flurry of left jabs which cut Cooney below the left eye.
It was a typical Holmes fight … utilizing the jab as his “ Physical Rosetta Stone “ that from which all his other effective maneuvers would flow.
With just 20 seconds left in the 13th round Cooney was stranded on the ropes, finally separated from his heart by a burst of concussive right hooks which Holmes had sincerely fired squarely into his head. Referee Mills Lane began the count when Cooney’s eccentric and father-like trainer Victor Valle jumped into the ring …. which was against the rules. He clutched his fighter around the chest announcing he was not going to let his boy take any more.
Larry was cool after the fight also . He stated in the post fight interview ( I believe it was with Larry Merchant ) that at no time did he regard Cooney as black or white … but rather as man who was trying to knock his head off.
It was a nice score .
Thanks , Larry
Most of all … Thank You , Gerry
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For Kmann Kaptain Karl ……
A while back you had mentioned in passing that as a youth , Jesus was an Apprentice Carpenter.
I’ve thought about it , and now I have 2 questions for you Old Buddy:
1) After all this time , do you think that He has worked His way up to Master Status ?
2) If so , how much would He charge me to re panel my den ?
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Two ( of the many ) differences between men and women …
A man will pay $200 for a $100 item he needs.
A woman will pay $100 for a $200 item that she doesn't need
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Jet Thoughts …
Herm Edwards has left the Jets and is going to coach the Chiefs.
The Jets will receive a 4th round draft pick in return as compensation.
Am I the only one who feels that Kansas City is getting Royally Screwed ?
Imagine if The Jets picked up LenDale White as the 4th rounder in exchange for “ Scared Money Edwards ” ?
PS … I’ve heard The Jets will be interviewing Mike Tice for the head coaching spot. I can just picture this guy standing on the sidelines, wearing a tee shirt … but now a different color …. snot green.
PPS … At a press conference earlier this week , The Jets Brass insisted they will not file tampering charges against Chiefs president Carl Peterson.
Of course they won’t
If I robbed a Brinks Armored Truck , picked it clean , and got away with it scot free … I wouldn’t turn around and then sue the owner for negligence.
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In all fairness we must give an NFL coach 3 years to get where he is heading.
With Nick Saban , The Miami Dolphins will be serious contenders in a year or two.
This Guy Can Coach.
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One of my favorite all time Quotes …..
Bobby Hull
Chicago Black Hawk Great, Hockey’s Golden Jet, Father of Brett Hull , and one of the most breathtakingly exciting NHL players ever, once said:
“ My wife made me a millionaire …
when I met her I had four … now I have ONE “
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I heard this one the other day ……
How many Irish Men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Eight
One to hold the bulb , and 7 to drink enough whiskey to make the room spin.
( Don’t go crazy guys , just a joke … I pick on everyone … including myself )
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I’t always sad when I hear some sorry ass degenerate gambler telling his usual tale of woe ….....
On most Mondays I stop in to this certain Delicatessen in Manhasset and I usually see this guy in there . He hangs out a lot , like he’s got nothing else to do . Well every week he’s crying to everyone behind the counter ( actually anyone who will listen to him ) about how the team he bet the day before let him down. And he makes it so personal … like “his” team failed to cover with the express purpose of making him lose money.
I just stand on line shaking my head
Like once he was whining : “ I was at the game yesterday … My Giants screwed me really bad“ …
( HIS Giants … lmao )
Another time he complained : “ Michael Vick cost me money.” “
And yet aother time: “ The Colts really buried me … Manning let me down “
and on and on and on … every week it’s a different team but he’s the same old victim.
I feel like telling him ….
“Yeah, Pal, … that Giant game … here’s what happened …. NY driving with 2 minutes to go … a field goal, and you win your bet … Manning has the team huddled up and says :
Eli: “Hey , you guys know the guy in section D , row 27 , seat 15A ??? “
The other 10 Giants: “ YEAH !!!!! “
Eli: “ Well he’s got 100 on us to win “
The other 10 Giants: “ Bwa hahaha hahahahaha !!!! “
Eli: “ OK … Tiki … fumble the handoff and make it look good … Let’s fuck Scalfoni right in the caboose “
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I think Billy the Chin should come right back this Sunday with another surprise on-side kick ……. wth Dungy not being the brightest bulb … this time it just might work.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED …..
I was a bachelor until age 39, and old uncles used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
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Ever have a pleasant conversation with someone and then after a while and out of the blue he ( she ) says .....
“ Can I be perfectly honest with you ? “
I hate when that happens !
I always answer: “ No … I want you to be as misleading and deceiving as humanly possible … see ya !!! “
( I really say that … no kiddin around )
Guys and Gals … Always ask yourself “ What has this individual been doing all along ? … lying through his teeth ?"
I say Forget that person !!!! for putting you through all sorts of changes trying to figure out where this cat is coming from … and wasting your precious time.
So if someone ever asks that in the course of a conversation … just remember … DO NOT take that person seriously … there’s a damn good chance that he ( or she ) can not be trusted.
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I LOVE MR. SOCKO !!!!!!!!
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I saw one of my Outs today …….
and this guy is particularly chatty … which annoys me to no end … like he wants to be my buddy or something … fat chance … like I’m going to fall for the oldest trick in the book !!!
So I let him do all the talking … I just listen and never EVER tell him what I’m thinking.
But today he said something interesting … and I knew all the while what he was talking about, but I’d like to convey it to you.
He told me that one of his players ( a weekly loser ) LOVED The Bengals last Sunday because …. “ The Wrong Team was Favored “
What a laugh !
I Really have to Cringe whenever I hear or read those 5 words from anyone … THE WRONG SIDE IS FAVORED … Touts Love to pull that crap on their suckers … and novice handicappers say it to impress other novices.
There’s a reason for every spread on a card , and of all the reasons to like and play on a particular side , that one is the least valid.
Imagine the lack of respect that this person has for the Linesmaker … then imagine how much money he pisses away each and every week as a result of such medieval thinking.
( Most times , this sucker’s money winds up in my pocket … with the Out as nothing more than the middle man / errand boy … who desperately wants to be my “friend” … lol )
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This one’s from The Comedian David Steinberg … ( I heard him say it on The Carson Show years ago )
“Why does a Jewish woman kiss with her eyes closed ?
Because she can’t stand to see a man having a good time “.
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FOX Network’s Classiest Act
Pam Oliver
Simply the Best !!!
(I’d love to see her in the booth as a permanent play by play announcer, but she’d only force the drunks in her crew to think harder … and God Forbid that should ever happen.)
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And Lastly … CB takes on The Mob !!!!!!
Being a clown for a living is not easy … always dressed up funny … lots of make up … those big floppy shoes … the constant pressure of keeping kids laughing … the competition with other fellow clowns .. the difficulties in choosing a catchy name , and so on down the line .
And not only that …. The Federal Government has learned that in recent years The Clown Industry is being infiltrated by Organized Crime.
Who tipped off the Feds ?
Actually , no one … it was quite accidental.
It seems that one of The Assistant DA’s has a 6 year old daughter who had a birthday party. Clowns have been more popular than ever as a great source of entertainment for kids at these affairs… so they hired one to amuse the children. Anyway, on that day , instead of wearing a big red nose, and a baggy polka dot top and bottom , and funny shoes ,the DA’s clown showed up wearing a pin striped suit , a phony glasses / nose / mustache combo, and Spats.
Nobody thought anything of it at the time, the kids figured that this clown was maybe a little “ahead of his time” and a trend setter …. but the following week at a friend’s birthday, while the kids were playing on the front lawn, a black stretch limo pulled up, the driver opened the door for his passenger, and out stepped a clown wearing a Black Fedora and a Bowling Shirt with an inscription in the back reading:
“ Nunzio’s Concrete and Marble Works “
Another parent hired “ Flopsy " for her daughter's party
But he really was ....
"Two Fingers" Patsy Limongello , who is currently under indictment for Armed Robbery , Mayhem , Witness Tampering, Securities Fraud ... and Marrying a Horse.
This thug showed some imagination by dressing up as the Origional King of Clowns, Emmett Kelly
But Albert ( " Baby Face " ) Squiggliero was later arrested for boosting silverware from the kitchen.
And last summer, these hoods heisted a truck loaded with clown outfits and wore them to New York’s Annual Feast Of St. Gennaro in Little Italy
Putting 2 and 2 together, The DA summoned a task force to investigate.
It didn’t take very long for The Media to catch on so I was approached by The New York Times to write a series of articles exposing the evil practices behind the clown industry.
Can you keep a secret ?
I name names !!!!
Carmine ( “Bozo“ ) Antonucci
Franco ( “ Sneezy “ ) Lucchesi
Anthony ( “ Koko “ ) Colovito
Jimmy ( “Jingles “ ) Solferino
Rocco ( “Clarabelle“ ) Provenzano
Angelo ( “Slappy “ ) Augliera
Gino ( “ Scooter Pie “ ) Picchioni
Louie ( “ Toodles “ ) Lupo
And this is just the tip of the iceberg !!!!
But before I go into this any deeper , I think it’s important that first we review a few Mob Fundamentals
a) Mob Structure :
In every Family there are Soldiers, who answer to The Captains, who receive all of the very most important mandates from The Boss of All Bosses. He is known as The Capo di Tutti Cappi. ( Which literally means in English … “Pass me the Meatballs“ )
The Capo is THE TOP MAN and his is the position of Supreme Respect and Loyalty.
He oversees all mob operations … some of which are Loansharking , Prostitution , Hijacking , Building Materials, Vending Machines , and The Los Angeles Lakers .
He also arranges meetings with The Bosses of the other Families in his particular region. At these sit downs, all business is discussed and all grudges are settled . There is always plenty to eat and drink , but very few outsiders are aware that The Boss who hosts the meeting is responsible for providing the cold cuts and ice cubes … which is no easy task because if the Genoa Salami isn’t sliced exactly to the liking of the others , The Capo must sit in the corner with a dunce cap on , and is forced at gunpoint to whistle “Hey Jude “ until his face turns blue.
b) Why Profits are Soaring:
The number 1 reason … Low Overhead
You need to understand that with Organized Crime, next to nothing is spent for office supplies … you seldom see a gangster shopping at Staples … even though many contracts are carried out at the command of the higher ups … they are rarely hand written at all , let alone in triplicate.
Furthermore, The Mafia has no patience whatsoever with a forgetful Hit Man for fear that the Feds will be granted a subpoena to search the Button’s home and find POST-ITS on his refrigerator with reminders, such as
“Put Benny Fusco to Sleep “
or
“ Pistol whip Mannino into taking the Rap “
or
“ Shake down Scalese for 8 G’s
So ..... Low Overhead = Higher Profit Margin … that’s the key !!!
That’s all for now but in upcoming editions of “Hip” I will delve further into this Sinister Empire by answering a number of lingering questions, such as:
Is Jimmy Hoffa buried in Giants’ Stadium along with 98% of Ty Gaston’s clients ?
Who does the Mob use as their General Dentist and are his business records kept in accordance with IRS Standards ?
Who origionated that cute catchy expression: “ I made my Bones !! “
When 20 soldiers are forced to “hit the matresses” and stay in 1 room during times of war … Who is in charge of making the marinara sauce ? And what happens to him if he dares to use too much Oregano ?
Do they purchase the mattresses outright ? … or do they lease , with an option to buy at a later date ?
I will answer these burning questions AND MANY MANY MORE in the upcoming weeks.
So Stay Tuned !!!
Yours Truly
Neil , aka , Coverboy, aka, Luscious Luigi
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It's always noon somewhere! 
PS-MARVIN LOVES SPLIT SALAD !! 
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