Tweet
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If Florida Gator Coach Urban Meyer moved to the outskirts of Gainsville , would be have to change his name to Suburban Meyer ?
**********************************************
What kind of sick , twisted mind had the late seismologist Charles F. Richter, inventor of the Richter scale , who placed a numerical value on tragic acts of God ?
Not only that , this guy even had the balls to go so far as to decimalize .
**********************************************
Idea !!!!
St. Johns University was pressured to change their name from The Redmen and decided to go with Red Storm.
The Washington Redskins said: “ Screw you , we’re not changing anything. “
Let’s expand our thinking …
Why not lobby for a name change for The Miami of Florida University ? … or Iowa State University, for that matter.
**********************************************
Hey Neil … Open your mouth … insert foot … and chew vigorously !
Vince Young was totally unstoppable … unflappable … and absolutely phenomenal, as The University of Texas played the Amazing Game. He was calm , cool , and collected ... well beyond his years.
He's earned his props for sure.
Will he make a good pro ?
With all my Young bashing , I have qualified as the absolute last person on earth that anyone would want to ask.
**********************************************
Iowa State defensive end Jason Berryman spent a year in the slammer for stealing $ 4.00 and a cell phone.
Jason … next time, raise the bar just a little higher… a couple of Snickers … Twinkies , Yodels … perhaps even a shrimp salad on rye ....
Reach for the stars , for Chrissakes.
**********************************************
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee ‘s Bonnie !!!
The San Diego – Denver game last Saturday hadn’t even begun when CBS Sideline Dime Bonnie (“ Squeeky “) Bernstein started in with the chirping … this time about the relationship between LaDainian Tomlinson and Chuck Muncie ( one time Charger Running Back on the verge of getting his team rushing record broken )
There’s a Big Deal , considering that over the past 3 decades 99% of The Chargers' Glory was the result of Coach Don Coryell's Aerial Genius with Dan Fouts at the helm.
You could imagine how was I glued to the TV … so very enraptured … hanging on to her every word … Oh , be still my heart !
“ Muncie’s flying in to be with LT for the game ”, she said.
Thanks, Bonnie … now I can die a happy and fulfilled man
**********************************************
What Made Elvis Run ?
A number of years ago we had a regular group of guys who would come over to my home every Sunday during the NFL season. We’d have an early breakfast, then sit at the roundtable with our notes and dicuss all the games on the card for that day. We would do our business then watch the games. Plenty to eat and drink all day long, but no alcohol allowed … that was our agreement and there were no exceptions . It was never a problem because we were all serious about what we were doing.
We would decide on 1 or 2 underdogs in particular which we would use as our key sides for that day.
It was week 11 that season, and we had hit 12 dogs in a row over the previous weeks. That day we chose Baltimore , taking 13 at San Francisco. The track was sloppy and Steve Young was not playing. Elvis Grbac started at QB for The Niners. Testaverde was The Raven QB at the time.
Part of our preparation was studying the Consensus Reports which were afforded us by my friend Rick who owned a Service in Minnesota. We’d have him on speaker phone as we wrote down on our service sheets what he was calling off. There were 4 or 5 reports each game day, with updates every half hour or so.
There was nothing particularly earth shattering on that game from the putzes , except that a popular scammer, Jim _ _ _ _ _ , had given out San Fran as his Game of the Year. That piece of info had clinched our Raven decision.
What happened that day proved to be the single most disappointing, toughest beat of my life ( my friends also ) and I still remember it vividly.
It was a see-saw game until Testaverde got hurt midway through, and ex Georgia Bulldog QB Eric Zeier replaced him. Surprisingly enough, he led The Ravens down the field for a TD , and things were looking OK . San Fran eventually secured the lead in the 4th Quarter and were ahead, 31-20 with 2 minutes remaining to be played. They had the ball at the Baltimore 20 , Baltimore had no time outs left at the 2 minute warning.
Fine , we thought … 3 kneel downs , see ya , wouldn’t want to be ya. By definition , that’s all it would take , and the game would be over.
But no !!!
During the 2 minute intermission we saw Steve Young standing right up close to Coach Seifert … and both were talking out of the side of their mouths … we all looked at each other wondering what was up.
Well, Grbac handed off to Terry Kirby who ran for 8 yards .
What the fuck ? , we sat there , in disgust , asking each other what was up with that ! Maybe now he’ll drop a knee.
No !!!
Grbac then handed off to Kirby for another bunch.
No Kneel Down !!!
As the clock ran down , Grbac snuck it into the endzone with 6 seconds left, and after the PAT it was 38-20 , a San Francisco winner.
All the while , The Raven Coach , Ted Marchibroda , was standing there in bewilderment. He always had the reputation of being a fine gentleman and none of us knew of any axes to grind or grudges or hard ons between he and Seifert ... or between he and anyone , for that matter.
Terry Kirby was not even close to rushing for 1000 yards up to that point of the season , and there were no landmarks or individual performances that needed to be achieved.
Ever since that game , we never looked at George Seifert or any of the 49’ers in the same light.
And to this very day I can still clearly see Young and Seifert and the look on their faces at the 2 minute warning.
**********************************************
In high school I ran the 40 yard dash in 3.8 seconds
Wanna know my secret ?
SHORTCUTS
**********************************************
“ I’d Rather be Lucky than Good “
Ever hear someone say that?
That’s a saying that I’ve heard many times , especially in card rooms , but not limited to them by any stretch … I suppose it's used in all walks of life.
I still don’t know what the hell it really means for certain and the more I think of it , the less sense it makes.
It’s like the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
**********************************************
A hypothetical question for you ….
If you could administer a Lie Detector Test …. A real official one … with no time limit … no holds barred … to any 5 athletes or coaches ( past or present ) in any pro or college sport …. who would you choose ?
On 2nd thought, 5 is much too little … let’s not limit it to a number …
MAKE IT OPEN SEASON !!!
Among the hundreds I could think of off the top , I’m gonna say ….
OJ Simpson ... for obvious reasons
Bobby Bowden / Joe Paterno … hell, let them sit on each other’s lap for all I care … we can wire up these 2 Sheisters at the same time ... it's useless anyway ... they'll know how to beat the polygraph.
Elvis Grbac ... The "sneaky" little shit mentioned previously
George Seifert ... ditto !!!
Steve Young ... why not throw him in there also ... so we can catch him in a lie along with the other 2
Kobe Bryant ... The NBA's leading Over / Under Wagering Influence ... NBA Great ? , or is he just another Criminal with a Jump Shot.
Shaquille O’Neal ... for his 1 Man Comedy Act at the free throw line ... it's a stroke of genius ... He can make 'em when he wants to.
Jim Kelly ... over the years at least 100 people have asked me why he never covered when he was supposed to ... now we'll ask him the same Q.
Eric Dickerson ... No one fumbled more than this guy with a point spread on the line. Many years ago Pete Franklin was fired from WFAN for calling him a point shaver and a louse. Once when crossing the goal line for an apparent Colt TD, he shoved the ball in the defender's hands ... touchback !!! Dan Fouts then marched The Chargers down the field for the ATS winning touchdown.
Coach K ( Krzyzewski ) Over the years his Blue Devils did some very weird things ATS. Once, his team passed up 10 lay ups in the 2nd Half of a game and went scoreless in the last 5 minutes. Won by 14 when spread was 20. After the game when asked why the lay down , he said that the arena floor was slippery and he didn't want his players to get hurt. Oh !!! and for the other team the court was dry ? Wire him up and I'll work this little gangster over until he melts.
The Boston College Football team of the late nineties ... got popped for shaving and out and out straight up game throwing.
Marvelous Marvin Hagler ... Saw every single one of his title defenses including his fight with Ray Leonard. Marvin had numerous opportunies to punch Ray senseless in the corners , but mysteriously rat - a - tatted his way out of the advantage. Hagler never fought after that ... he was sent to Italy to make deodorant commercials .... strange !!!!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm … that would be fun.
And now , last but not least ... THE MAIN EVENT …
“ Do you believe in miracles ? “
The GREATEST FIX in the history of sport.
Viktor Tikhonov , The Soviet Coach, 1980 .... I’d like to have a little discussion with him.
How about your choices? Who would you grill ? … please state why
**********************************************
Like Beyonce Knowles’ Ass Cheeks , footballs bounce funny.
**********************************************
Last Saturday , Drew Brees got his shoulder dislocated … and that’s what happens when you don’t give 100% . Most of the blame must go to Shottenheimer … his team was ill – prepared to engage in a collision sport that day.
Peyton Manning got knocked around in losing to the same Chargers at home a few weeks ago. Clearly The Colts were not playing that game with maximum intensity.
Fear of injury in football … what a joke !
You just can’t play in fear … that’s not the way it’s done …. that very fear in and of itself causes injuries. So many times players get hurt when the team’s mind set is playing not to get hurt… not giving it their all. This overcautious approach and the associated lack of mental toughness that goes hand and hand with it places players’ health at risk.
We have a moral obligation to go out and give 100% in any game in any sport until the outcome of that game has been decided beyond a shadow of doubt, and not one split second sooner.
There is never any compromise on a morally right or wrong issue.
**********************************************
Another wasted draft pick just waiting to happen ?
Before ( and sadly, all during ) the Notre Dame/Ohio State game I labored through Mussberger’s boring , time–wasting, ass–kissing, gut-wrenching testimonial extravaganza to Buckeye A J Hawk.
ABC showcased his mom , his dad , his girlfriend , his 3rd grade report card , his priest, his girlfriend, his gym shorts, his golden retriever, how he keeps a neat and organized wallet , his girlfriend, his dental records, his favorite breakfast cereal, his girlfriend … anything the network could scrounge up on him .
So while everyone was staring at the girlfriend wearing those big false teeth and that stupid stupid jersey, one half being Notre Dame , the other half , Ohio State … ( will she drag along both AJ and Brady on her honeymoon ? ) , I just couldn’t take my eyes off one thing that was of any importance . … his weakness , something that no matter how hard he works, he’ll will never be able to overcome.
His nostrils are too small !!!!
In the 80’s, I owned a race horse and once in a while I’d go to the paddocks with my crew before a race or when we were in the market to buy … my trainer who was pretty sharp told me that whether handicapping or owning , always check nostril size and rule out any horse with small passageways. ( of course there are many many other factors to consider )
I laughed my ass off at first , but it makes all the sense in the world … air intake.
Scroll up and take another look at Hawk.
He’s got pinholes !
I can just see him now … Dolphins Stadium in early September … gasping for air and coughing up all sorts of nasty things late in the 1st half.
He may be some kind of hot shot among schoolboys, but in the pros when he’s out there on Soldier Field among some sincerely brutal adversaries and unable to breathe … well ... he could be pissing up a rope.
BTW on Notre Dame’s first possession , they made him look like anything but a football player.
**********************************************
Don’t you just love it when a 300 pound lineman jumps 5 yards offsides , then out of sheer embarassment starts pointing the accusing finger of blame at the opposing line ?
I really don’t think he’s trying to sway the decision of the referee. ( the official’s mind is made up already )
He’s just embarassed at being a dumb ass and he’s trying to con the fans into thinking that the call is going to be wrong and it wasn’t his fault in the first place.
**********************************************
Ever see these guys ?
Only about 100 times every Sunday .. The Nextel Dance Party Commercial.
Wanna see it again ?
Click the link and select “ Windows Media 6+ Higher Quality” then “ Play ad “ … Crank up the V
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=23515
LMAO … At first I liked the guy on the left in the blue shirt but the more I watch it , the one on the right is freakin' hysterical too.
**********************************************
Pussy Cat Doll
I caught a glimpse of Nicole Scherzinger on TV at a New Year’s Eve Party … she was so smokin’ that even the chicks were getting hot watching her move … lol
(I know Big Mike will provide us with some more pics)
**********************************************
Ran into a friend the other day … he really looked down in the dumps.
Cb: “ Hey Ray what’s wrong ?”
Ray: “ I got in a hole betting … I’ve lost 14 NBA games in a row “
Cb: “ Well cool it with baskets for a while … try something else … like betting hockey. “
Ray: “ Hockey ? What the hell do I know about hockey ??? “
**********************************************
And finally ....
I tied for first in the NFL pool this year, so one other fellow competitor and I split the 1st and 2nd place prize money. That put me way over the top for my yearly goal and well on my way for 2006. We were tied going into Sunday . He played 5 early games, went 2-3 . I was 2-1 and had Houston and Philadelphia late. All I needed was a cover by either and I would have been home free. You know the rest . It was a little disappointing , until Monday morning when our Mod called me to arrange a meeting with him and the other co – winner in order to divvy up the take.
2005 Posting Record
MLB:
1st half : 230–224 ( Includes that dreadful Interleague Play … lol )
2nd half : 280-207
Post Season: 7-1
Daily Top Plays … 75-80% winners.
NCAAF:
Regular Season: 85-68
Special Games: 2-0
Bowl Record:
3* 6-5
2* 3-4
1* 3-2
NFL: 101-66
Pending : Carolina Panther Future to win Super Bowl at 9/1, less $3,300 for the Atlanta hedge last Sunday.
And now there’s really nothing left for me to do other than maneuver The Panther bet … I don’t consider Basketball a sport ( if you’ve been a loyal “Hip” reader , you know why ). I’ll be playing Frank’s NBA and Kmann’s stuff , particularly his Delicious Demolishers exclusively, and that’s it. While there are many good basketball cappers in Chat, I’m just going to roll along with my partners.
I’ll sit back, watch the NFL Playoffs and root for The Panthers, ( I’m worried about them for the upcoming Giant game … all I’m hearing now is Carolina , Carolina , and more Carolina ) but if it is their destiny to play the Super Bowl, and given the choice , I’d much rather see them go against The Colts than The Patriots. I’ve never seen anything other than Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning lose a big game, and John Fox can certainly outsmart them and shock the world. Heck , Fox had Bellichek on the ropes 2 years ago.
By now you guys know how I operate … lots of hard work and dedication, and courage enough to stand by what my work has yielded … under the pressure of many nay sayers and adult sized wagers.
You know how the system works … how the linesmaker gets paid a gazillion dollars to scam anyone who deems him as The Enemy. If you embrace him as a best friend , he will help you pick more right sides than wrong ones.
So I’ll take 5-6 months off and come back in May or June with 3 Wise Men Baseball. Baseball is the best to handicap. It’s the only sport around and it’s the least time consuming … I’ll get up , jump in the pool , breakfast , work the card for an hour, bet it , post it , and the remainder of every summer day will be free to do whatever I choose.
Now , the fun part … how I’ll be spending this past year’s sports earnings :
A Corvette Convertible for my wife
2-3 weeks of travel sometime around March / April …
Shopping sprees are always fun … there’s something about being pampered by a few tailors with chalk and tape measures in their hands, and pins in their mouths. I love it.
I’m partial to “Victor Talbot” here in Long Island. Everything he has is of the finest quality … hand made suits and shirts , and every men’s furnishing imaginable.
And the rest I’ll give to My Godson who just graduated from law school … he and his wife are expecting their 1st child.
Will resume posting around 4-6 weeks into the Baseball Season , when the power ratings begin to gel, and we have a clearer fix on team form. I'll be around a lot , hopefully sharing a laugh or 2 and always wishing all of you the very best.
Best of Luck, And Be Careful Out There.
Your Pal
Neil
If Florida Gator Coach Urban Meyer moved to the outskirts of Gainsville , would be have to change his name to Suburban Meyer ?
**********************************************
What kind of sick , twisted mind had the late seismologist Charles F. Richter, inventor of the Richter scale , who placed a numerical value on tragic acts of God ?
Not only that , this guy even had the balls to go so far as to decimalize .
**********************************************
Idea !!!!
St. Johns University was pressured to change their name from The Redmen and decided to go with Red Storm.
The Washington Redskins said: “ Screw you , we’re not changing anything. “
Let’s expand our thinking …
Why not lobby for a name change for The Miami of Florida University ? … or Iowa State University, for that matter.
**********************************************
Hey Neil … Open your mouth … insert foot … and chew vigorously !
Vince Young was totally unstoppable … unflappable … and absolutely phenomenal, as The University of Texas played the Amazing Game. He was calm , cool , and collected ... well beyond his years.
He's earned his props for sure.
Will he make a good pro ?
With all my Young bashing , I have qualified as the absolute last person on earth that anyone would want to ask.
**********************************************
Iowa State defensive end Jason Berryman spent a year in the slammer for stealing $ 4.00 and a cell phone.
Jason … next time, raise the bar just a little higher… a couple of Snickers … Twinkies , Yodels … perhaps even a shrimp salad on rye ....
Reach for the stars , for Chrissakes.
**********************************************
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee ‘s Bonnie !!!
The San Diego – Denver game last Saturday hadn’t even begun when CBS Sideline Dime Bonnie (“ Squeeky “) Bernstein started in with the chirping … this time about the relationship between LaDainian Tomlinson and Chuck Muncie ( one time Charger Running Back on the verge of getting his team rushing record broken )
There’s a Big Deal , considering that over the past 3 decades 99% of The Chargers' Glory was the result of Coach Don Coryell's Aerial Genius with Dan Fouts at the helm.
You could imagine how was I glued to the TV … so very enraptured … hanging on to her every word … Oh , be still my heart !
“ Muncie’s flying in to be with LT for the game ”, she said.
Thanks, Bonnie … now I can die a happy and fulfilled man
**********************************************
What Made Elvis Run ?
A number of years ago we had a regular group of guys who would come over to my home every Sunday during the NFL season. We’d have an early breakfast, then sit at the roundtable with our notes and dicuss all the games on the card for that day. We would do our business then watch the games. Plenty to eat and drink all day long, but no alcohol allowed … that was our agreement and there were no exceptions . It was never a problem because we were all serious about what we were doing.
We would decide on 1 or 2 underdogs in particular which we would use as our key sides for that day.
It was week 11 that season, and we had hit 12 dogs in a row over the previous weeks. That day we chose Baltimore , taking 13 at San Francisco. The track was sloppy and Steve Young was not playing. Elvis Grbac started at QB for The Niners. Testaverde was The Raven QB at the time.
Part of our preparation was studying the Consensus Reports which were afforded us by my friend Rick who owned a Service in Minnesota. We’d have him on speaker phone as we wrote down on our service sheets what he was calling off. There were 4 or 5 reports each game day, with updates every half hour or so.
There was nothing particularly earth shattering on that game from the putzes , except that a popular scammer, Jim _ _ _ _ _ , had given out San Fran as his Game of the Year. That piece of info had clinched our Raven decision.
What happened that day proved to be the single most disappointing, toughest beat of my life ( my friends also ) and I still remember it vividly.
It was a see-saw game until Testaverde got hurt midway through, and ex Georgia Bulldog QB Eric Zeier replaced him. Surprisingly enough, he led The Ravens down the field for a TD , and things were looking OK . San Fran eventually secured the lead in the 4th Quarter and were ahead, 31-20 with 2 minutes remaining to be played. They had the ball at the Baltimore 20 , Baltimore had no time outs left at the 2 minute warning.
Fine , we thought … 3 kneel downs , see ya , wouldn’t want to be ya. By definition , that’s all it would take , and the game would be over.
But no !!!
During the 2 minute intermission we saw Steve Young standing right up close to Coach Seifert … and both were talking out of the side of their mouths … we all looked at each other wondering what was up.
Well, Grbac handed off to Terry Kirby who ran for 8 yards .
What the fuck ? , we sat there , in disgust , asking each other what was up with that ! Maybe now he’ll drop a knee.
No !!!
Grbac then handed off to Kirby for another bunch.
No Kneel Down !!!
As the clock ran down , Grbac snuck it into the endzone with 6 seconds left, and after the PAT it was 38-20 , a San Francisco winner.
All the while , The Raven Coach , Ted Marchibroda , was standing there in bewilderment. He always had the reputation of being a fine gentleman and none of us knew of any axes to grind or grudges or hard ons between he and Seifert ... or between he and anyone , for that matter.
Terry Kirby was not even close to rushing for 1000 yards up to that point of the season , and there were no landmarks or individual performances that needed to be achieved.
Ever since that game , we never looked at George Seifert or any of the 49’ers in the same light.
And to this very day I can still clearly see Young and Seifert and the look on their faces at the 2 minute warning.
**********************************************
In high school I ran the 40 yard dash in 3.8 seconds
Wanna know my secret ?
SHORTCUTS
**********************************************
“ I’d Rather be Lucky than Good “
Ever hear someone say that?
That’s a saying that I’ve heard many times , especially in card rooms , but not limited to them by any stretch … I suppose it's used in all walks of life.
I still don’t know what the hell it really means for certain and the more I think of it , the less sense it makes.
It’s like the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
**********************************************
A hypothetical question for you ….
If you could administer a Lie Detector Test …. A real official one … with no time limit … no holds barred … to any 5 athletes or coaches ( past or present ) in any pro or college sport …. who would you choose ?
On 2nd thought, 5 is much too little … let’s not limit it to a number …
MAKE IT OPEN SEASON !!!
Among the hundreds I could think of off the top , I’m gonna say ….
OJ Simpson ... for obvious reasons
Bobby Bowden / Joe Paterno … hell, let them sit on each other’s lap for all I care … we can wire up these 2 Sheisters at the same time ... it's useless anyway ... they'll know how to beat the polygraph.
Elvis Grbac ... The "sneaky" little shit mentioned previously
George Seifert ... ditto !!!
Steve Young ... why not throw him in there also ... so we can catch him in a lie along with the other 2
Kobe Bryant ... The NBA's leading Over / Under Wagering Influence ... NBA Great ? , or is he just another Criminal with a Jump Shot.
Shaquille O’Neal ... for his 1 Man Comedy Act at the free throw line ... it's a stroke of genius ... He can make 'em when he wants to.
Jim Kelly ... over the years at least 100 people have asked me why he never covered when he was supposed to ... now we'll ask him the same Q.
Eric Dickerson ... No one fumbled more than this guy with a point spread on the line. Many years ago Pete Franklin was fired from WFAN for calling him a point shaver and a louse. Once when crossing the goal line for an apparent Colt TD, he shoved the ball in the defender's hands ... touchback !!! Dan Fouts then marched The Chargers down the field for the ATS winning touchdown.
Coach K ( Krzyzewski ) Over the years his Blue Devils did some very weird things ATS. Once, his team passed up 10 lay ups in the 2nd Half of a game and went scoreless in the last 5 minutes. Won by 14 when spread was 20. After the game when asked why the lay down , he said that the arena floor was slippery and he didn't want his players to get hurt. Oh !!! and for the other team the court was dry ? Wire him up and I'll work this little gangster over until he melts.
The Boston College Football team of the late nineties ... got popped for shaving and out and out straight up game throwing.
Marvelous Marvin Hagler ... Saw every single one of his title defenses including his fight with Ray Leonard. Marvin had numerous opportunies to punch Ray senseless in the corners , but mysteriously rat - a - tatted his way out of the advantage. Hagler never fought after that ... he was sent to Italy to make deodorant commercials .... strange !!!!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm … that would be fun.
And now , last but not least ... THE MAIN EVENT …
“ Do you believe in miracles ? “
The GREATEST FIX in the history of sport.
Viktor Tikhonov , The Soviet Coach, 1980 .... I’d like to have a little discussion with him.
How about your choices? Who would you grill ? … please state why
**********************************************
Like Beyonce Knowles’ Ass Cheeks , footballs bounce funny.
**********************************************
Last Saturday , Drew Brees got his shoulder dislocated … and that’s what happens when you don’t give 100% . Most of the blame must go to Shottenheimer … his team was ill – prepared to engage in a collision sport that day.
Peyton Manning got knocked around in losing to the same Chargers at home a few weeks ago. Clearly The Colts were not playing that game with maximum intensity.
Fear of injury in football … what a joke !
You just can’t play in fear … that’s not the way it’s done …. that very fear in and of itself causes injuries. So many times players get hurt when the team’s mind set is playing not to get hurt… not giving it their all. This overcautious approach and the associated lack of mental toughness that goes hand and hand with it places players’ health at risk.
We have a moral obligation to go out and give 100% in any game in any sport until the outcome of that game has been decided beyond a shadow of doubt, and not one split second sooner.
There is never any compromise on a morally right or wrong issue.
**********************************************
Another wasted draft pick just waiting to happen ?
Before ( and sadly, all during ) the Notre Dame/Ohio State game I labored through Mussberger’s boring , time–wasting, ass–kissing, gut-wrenching testimonial extravaganza to Buckeye A J Hawk.
ABC showcased his mom , his dad , his girlfriend , his 3rd grade report card , his priest, his girlfriend, his gym shorts, his golden retriever, how he keeps a neat and organized wallet , his girlfriend, his dental records, his favorite breakfast cereal, his girlfriend … anything the network could scrounge up on him .
So while everyone was staring at the girlfriend wearing those big false teeth and that stupid stupid jersey, one half being Notre Dame , the other half , Ohio State … ( will she drag along both AJ and Brady on her honeymoon ? ) , I just couldn’t take my eyes off one thing that was of any importance . … his weakness , something that no matter how hard he works, he’ll will never be able to overcome.
His nostrils are too small !!!!
In the 80’s, I owned a race horse and once in a while I’d go to the paddocks with my crew before a race or when we were in the market to buy … my trainer who was pretty sharp told me that whether handicapping or owning , always check nostril size and rule out any horse with small passageways. ( of course there are many many other factors to consider )
I laughed my ass off at first , but it makes all the sense in the world … air intake.
Scroll up and take another look at Hawk.
He’s got pinholes !
I can just see him now … Dolphins Stadium in early September … gasping for air and coughing up all sorts of nasty things late in the 1st half.
He may be some kind of hot shot among schoolboys, but in the pros when he’s out there on Soldier Field among some sincerely brutal adversaries and unable to breathe … well ... he could be pissing up a rope.
BTW on Notre Dame’s first possession , they made him look like anything but a football player.
**********************************************
Don’t you just love it when a 300 pound lineman jumps 5 yards offsides , then out of sheer embarassment starts pointing the accusing finger of blame at the opposing line ?
I really don’t think he’s trying to sway the decision of the referee. ( the official’s mind is made up already )
He’s just embarassed at being a dumb ass and he’s trying to con the fans into thinking that the call is going to be wrong and it wasn’t his fault in the first place.
**********************************************
Ever see these guys ?
Only about 100 times every Sunday .. The Nextel Dance Party Commercial.
Wanna see it again ?
Click the link and select “ Windows Media 6+ Higher Quality” then “ Play ad “ … Crank up the V
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=23515
LMAO … At first I liked the guy on the left in the blue shirt but the more I watch it , the one on the right is freakin' hysterical too.
**********************************************
Pussy Cat Doll
I caught a glimpse of Nicole Scherzinger on TV at a New Year’s Eve Party … she was so smokin’ that even the chicks were getting hot watching her move … lol
(I know Big Mike will provide us with some more pics)
**********************************************
Ran into a friend the other day … he really looked down in the dumps.
Cb: “ Hey Ray what’s wrong ?”
Ray: “ I got in a hole betting … I’ve lost 14 NBA games in a row “
Cb: “ Well cool it with baskets for a while … try something else … like betting hockey. “
Ray: “ Hockey ? What the hell do I know about hockey ??? “
**********************************************
And finally ....
I tied for first in the NFL pool this year, so one other fellow competitor and I split the 1st and 2nd place prize money. That put me way over the top for my yearly goal and well on my way for 2006. We were tied going into Sunday . He played 5 early games, went 2-3 . I was 2-1 and had Houston and Philadelphia late. All I needed was a cover by either and I would have been home free. You know the rest . It was a little disappointing , until Monday morning when our Mod called me to arrange a meeting with him and the other co – winner in order to divvy up the take.
2005 Posting Record
MLB:
1st half : 230–224 ( Includes that dreadful Interleague Play … lol )
2nd half : 280-207
Post Season: 7-1
Daily Top Plays … 75-80% winners.
NCAAF:
Regular Season: 85-68
Special Games: 2-0
Bowl Record:
3* 6-5
2* 3-4
1* 3-2
NFL: 101-66
Pending : Carolina Panther Future to win Super Bowl at 9/1, less $3,300 for the Atlanta hedge last Sunday.
And now there’s really nothing left for me to do other than maneuver The Panther bet … I don’t consider Basketball a sport ( if you’ve been a loyal “Hip” reader , you know why ). I’ll be playing Frank’s NBA and Kmann’s stuff , particularly his Delicious Demolishers exclusively, and that’s it. While there are many good basketball cappers in Chat, I’m just going to roll along with my partners.
I’ll sit back, watch the NFL Playoffs and root for The Panthers, ( I’m worried about them for the upcoming Giant game … all I’m hearing now is Carolina , Carolina , and more Carolina ) but if it is their destiny to play the Super Bowl, and given the choice , I’d much rather see them go against The Colts than The Patriots. I’ve never seen anything other than Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning lose a big game, and John Fox can certainly outsmart them and shock the world. Heck , Fox had Bellichek on the ropes 2 years ago.
By now you guys know how I operate … lots of hard work and dedication, and courage enough to stand by what my work has yielded … under the pressure of many nay sayers and adult sized wagers.
You know how the system works … how the linesmaker gets paid a gazillion dollars to scam anyone who deems him as The Enemy. If you embrace him as a best friend , he will help you pick more right sides than wrong ones.
So I’ll take 5-6 months off and come back in May or June with 3 Wise Men Baseball. Baseball is the best to handicap. It’s the only sport around and it’s the least time consuming … I’ll get up , jump in the pool , breakfast , work the card for an hour, bet it , post it , and the remainder of every summer day will be free to do whatever I choose.
Now , the fun part … how I’ll be spending this past year’s sports earnings :
A Corvette Convertible for my wife
2-3 weeks of travel sometime around March / April …
Shopping sprees are always fun … there’s something about being pampered by a few tailors with chalk and tape measures in their hands, and pins in their mouths. I love it.
I’m partial to “Victor Talbot” here in Long Island. Everything he has is of the finest quality … hand made suits and shirts , and every men’s furnishing imaginable.
And the rest I’ll give to My Godson who just graduated from law school … he and his wife are expecting their 1st child.
Will resume posting around 4-6 weeks into the Baseball Season , when the power ratings begin to gel, and we have a clearer fix on team form. I'll be around a lot , hopefully sharing a laugh or 2 and always wishing all of you the very best.
Best of Luck, And Be Careful Out There.
Your Pal
Neil
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