Freaking hilarious guys,,,shit like this makes having a bad bowl week seem insignifigant. You guys are the best and I'm just happy to be a member here at BC. Keep up the great work guys!!!!!!!1
It was Dec 31st and the inaugural Bettorschat New Year’s Eve party was in full swing high atop a Times Square hotel in the massive presidential suite. The music was loud, the champagne was flowing, & the hookers were aplenty.
There was a knock at the door, it was Spark & a few of his nursing home friends and they had brought 2 dozen bingo cards and a basket of multi colored bingo markers for anyone who wanted to play bingo with him and his friends. Over by the fireplace, Griffey Mojo was telling Moondog about his trip to Ronald McDonald’s house. They were snacking on Chicken McNuggets and were getting hammered. 2 of the hookers were braless and one was trying to put a tampon in the other’s fuck donut. “Hold on a Sec” said Blackbeard, that’s my job. GaDawg & JBC13 came over to watch, but decided to have a few “all natural” Bloody Mary’s instead.
11:00 P.M and Wayne1218 had still not shown up. “Fuck him said LoveDoc, as he raised his head from his hookers fur burger. “You’re just pissed that he was caught smoking weed with Michael Irvin instead of you” Monte said. Over by the TV, Kaptain Kmann was blowing up his man rod with Rwall’s penis pump while slapping 2 of the hookers asses until they turned beet red.
11:30 P.M, Chuck E. Cheese was staring out the window and said “wow, look at the size of that Tanning Bed, I didn’t think that many light bulbs could fit into one bed. Just then Phonepole showed up with 2 more of his fat ass whores, a bottle of Oxycotton & a box of KY Jelly. “It’s about time” shouted Coverboy, “my piss pump was getting sore from all these worn out, dry assholes.
A group of the guys were in the mini kitchen, Jcindeville & Kbsooner were scarfing down their third plate of homemade roadkill, and RJeremy was pissed because there was no Cosmopolitans in the mini bar. A few other guys were having a ”blow your load” contest, and BHS was taking bets on who could skeet cum the fastest. “I win again” said Tigger as he wiped off Uncle Mo’s love glaze from his face.
Just then a scream came from one of the bedrooms. Meg25 ran out wearing a strap-on around her waist, “It’s ok guys I just showed her my real pecker”. “Oh yeah” said Tigger, I wrote a song about that and I screamed when I saw that too. The Rook was getting his 4th lap dance from one of the midget hookers and asked if she would put a few hundred dollars in his Rook Sports Account.
11:57 PM, the guys were gathered around the panoramic windows to watch the ball drop, & for some reason Homer had his hand on FrankB’s love muscle. Dick Clark had begun the countdown, Kaptain said I can’t believe he’s older than Spark. “Yeah, but I’m 10 times older than you and only have had half as many Botox injections than you. The ball had started it’s decent and Big Mike was on the poker table drunk and naked and shouted ”Bring me another Captain & Coke”, just before he fell on his ass.
12:00 AM, “Happy New Year everyone shouted”. Spark was blowing on a breathing treatment machine, and DC Cougar was throwing her Benoit Balls all around the room. The hookers were in the bedrooms rifling through EzWinner’s & StarDustBum’s wallets. Rented Mule & Vinny Vegas had kissed each other at the stroke of midnight, and 10DimeBry had finally won the donut eating contest. 2006 was gonna be a good year.
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