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Observations ON and OFF the Playing Field.
A Real Life Hero…
For many years I’ve been a member of a golf club in Long Island and as is customary with most of the clubs when we’re not golfing we are playing cards … gin rummy mostly .
One of our elder statesman and a friend of mine is a fellow named Dr. Joseph Troisi … he loves gin rummy and he’s plays every Wednesday evening and Friday afternoon after an early round of golf.
Joseph is an Obstetrician ( A Doctor who specializes in delivering new born babies . )
Today is his birthday and he is 75 years young …. and he still practices what he once chose to be his life’s work … which is truly amazing in itself.
5 years ago for his 70th birthday he was honored with a surprise birthday party by 500 people, truly a celebration befitting such a man of enormous respect and dedication. But here’s the most amazing thing of all … Everyone who honored him that evening had one thing in common. Dr. Joseph delivered each and every person into this world who threw him his party. I know this to be true because a close friend of mine ( also a member of our club ) was one of the 500 … It was an incredible tribute for a wonderful man.
Later on this afternoon I’ll stop by and pay him a visit for his birthday. What will I give this man who has everything and more ?
Two Crates of Tally Ho Playing Cards, some personalized Gin Rummy Score Pads , a Great Big Hug of Affection , and a Kiss On His Cheek with Enormous Respect.
Happy Birthday Joe.
*********************************************
A Great Wagering Story Worth Sharing :
I told it last year in a BC thread but since there are many new faces I’d like to run it by you again. Here goes ….
One Friday afternoon around 10 years ago I was in the middle of playing gin in the card room at the club when my good friend “Jimmy Gags “ came over and said he needed to talk with me . I finished the hand and we went upstairs to the conference room .
Over a cup of coffee he told me that his sister was going out with one of the Mets’ pitchers and he was scheduled to start the next day at Shea … an afternoon game .
“So ” … Jimmy said … “ he doesn’t know it but late tonight over dinner, Sis is going to break up with him and it will be out of the blue . Gonna hit him like a ton of bricks …. he’s real sweet on her. The Mets are playing Houston and tomorrow they will be heavy favorites … let’s say he will not be at his best … Y’understand me ? “
Mind you now that Jimmy is a street person …. he owns a few Pepsi Cola routes in New York and has a certain way of expressing himself which leaves most people wetting their underwears.
“ Jim ” , I asked , “you sure he doesn’t have a clue ? “
“ Neilly … she and I had breakfast this morning … I’m her Big Brother …we’ve always been very close. She told me that even though she’s having lots of fun with him and all The Mets and their girlfriends and the parties and the games and everything … the truth is that he’s not very bright. “
We almost fell off our chairs we were both laughing so fucking hard … especially me.
“ Neil … Between you and me not for nuthin’ but this guy’s a fuckin’ Dumbell. Sis has to take this busted suitcase everywhere he goes cause he has a hard time fending for hisself . “
I was in tears … laughing so much I couldn’t breathe.
-Now Jimmy is a shooter and plays in a 50 cent Hollywood gin game with spades counting double … meaning that on an average day he wins or loses $10,000 …. And he plays 4 times a week. Me ? I play the 2 cent , sometimes 5 cent game with my regular group for years … great bunch of guys… lots of fun … and no one gets beaten up all that badly. I mention this because although I didn’t ask him how much he would be spreading around on Houston taking + 170 to + 180 , I shuttered to think of the size of his wager. I mean I stepped out on the game but he had that 2 fisted look on his face that was both scary and hysterically funny at the same time.
-So we both did what we had to do and sure enough the next day Houston was leading 11-0 in the 3rd inning because the Met “starter” was up all night drinking and depressed and so beat to shit and was in no way , shape, or form, prepared to pitch physically or psychologically.
-We didn’t see the game together but the next day we met at the club and got good and shit faced.
To this day we still look back and have a big laugh.
And , oh by the way, in case you’re wondering … we made damn sure we SPECIFIED THE PITCHER when we got down on the game … LOL .
*******************************************
Overall, I like the bowl matchups this year a lot . At first glance there are 6-7 major plays which stick out .
One in particular has caught my eye … Boston College vs. Boise St. , at Bronco Stadium in Idaho. Early feeling is that BC will kick the living crap out of their opponents in this one.
Strictly Men against Boys
Will keep you posted.
**********************************************
“The Wit and Wisdom of Gary Barnett”
With his team losing 42-3 at halftime last Saturday, Colorado Coach Gary Barnett was interviewed by classy ABC sideline guy Lynn Swann. When Swanny asked Barnett what he could do to turn things around in the 2nd half , his reply was : “ Well, we’re not going to panic. “
After hearing those remarkably compelling words I know I for one was a lot more confident that Colorado would stage a furious comeback and win the game going away .
Thanks Gary … have another Fifth of Jack , Bottle Nose.
His team, obviously moved by this Knute Rocknean Motivational Masterpiece , only lost by the final count of 70 – 3. ( and it’s a damn good thing that the 2 opposing coaches are off the field friends )
After the game while Longhorn Coach Mack Brown was receiving The Celebratory Gatorade Douche , The Buffs were on the opposite sideline pumping black coffee intravenously into the Alkie’s right arm so that he could walk off the field without tripping over his shoe laces and falling on his red nose.
I‘m reminded of the old saying :
“ Those who can’t do …. Teach “
I don’t agree with that … I have enormous respect for educators .
So I’ve amended it :
Those who can’t teach …. Teach Gym
And :
Those who can’t teach gym … become coaches For Colorado U.
**********************************************
I wonder if The Lions QB ‘s are roomates ? I picture Joey playing show tunes on the piano while Jeffy tip toes around in ballet slippers and a Tu Tu .
Ewwwwwwwwwwww !!!
( Sorry I broke my promise from last week )
**********************************************
Hadn’t seen an NBA game in a long while but last week I caught the 4th quarter of San Antonio – Dallas. FrankB had a 10* on The Spurs so , let’s say, I was a little curious. Here’s what I concluded:
Some things just never change and I haven’t missed a single thing since I stopped following basketball ….
1) You’ll never win a championship with Dirk Nowitski. He’s a self centered chucker , and his teammates should grab him up and remind him that it is, after all , a team sport . He’s good but he sucks.
2) Tim Duncan still has that same stupid expression on his face and some nights his mind is anywhere else but on the court.
3) Brent Barry is still a dumbass.
4) “2” is still the magic number in The NBA. Never lay 2 ½ on a basketball game for meaningful money … better yet … never bet The NBA for meaningful money … but all money is meaningful … Never bet The NBA, period.
**********************************************
In my younger days I spent lots of time with my grandfather . He gave me many toys. One day we played cards and went to the movies. He bought me jelly doughnuts and took me to the park and sat me down on a bench while he played “ Bocce” with his chronies . He always won and would gave me 5 dollars. Then we went to the circus and he bought me balloons . I had lots of fun that day.
I was 26
**********************************************
Why do football players kiss their hands and point them to the sky after making a play? Baseball players too . Who started this idiotic ritual anyway? It had to be someone. Was he praying ?
“ Oh Lord I give Thee Thanks for manipulating the trajectory of that forward pass … guiding it into my outstretched hands so that I may cradle it in full stride and with the greatest aplomb. “
Yeah Pal , that’s it . And he’s the same Lord who instilled the anger into the defensive back who then clotheslined that skinny assed , pencil neck of yours when you celebrated in the end zone.
**********************************************
If Howard Cosell were to interview Chuck Amato … ( On NC State’s practice field in preparation for their upcoming Bowl Game with South Florida on New Year’s Eve)
Cosell: “Coach Amato , why are you the only one here ? “
Amato: “ Hey Ain’t You? ….. ummmmmmmm …. Ain’t you? ………errrrrrrrr ……. Ain’t you DEAD ? …….. How Ya Doin’ Howie ? … I’m always here first for practices … it’s a tradition …. I like to greet the players one by one as they prepare to take the field … nuttin like a good slap on the ass to get em goin …. Besides, SOMEONE has to set up the buffet table”.
Cosell: “ Buffet table ? “
Amato: “ Yeah ... That’s right … On Wednesdays I serve scungilli , calamari , shrimp , mussels and lobsters. I go to the market every morning . You know what its like food shopping for 125 guys all built like a ’55 Buick ? ... and plus , all the stuff gotta be fresh , Howie , … otherwise …. they get THE TROTS … I can’t have that on the field.
Cosell.: “ No clams ? “
Amato: “ Nahhh … Clams is strictly for game day ... at the halftime intermission. You know that .”
Cosell: “ I Do ??? …. Errrrrrrrrrr …. “ You COOK for the players at halftime ? “
Amato: “ SHURE ….. Always … it’s a Ritual … I make white clam sauce for home games and red clam sauce when we’re away. And it’s Goddamn tough cookin’ in dem locker rooms on the road … the kitchen facilities are fer shit … imagine ? … not one deep fryer … no spaghetti pots … no condiments … So all my Sternos gotta be fired up in sync …. It’s like the screen pass, Howie … the timing has to be just right …
Cosell : “ It does ?
Amato: “ FO – GED – A – BAWD – IT “ …
Cosell: “ What else does the team like to eat ?”
Amato: “ Oh without a doubt … My Aunt Tessie’s Rice Balls … you know … with the cheese and the meat … fuggeddabowdit …. Yeah, she gets up early every Saturday morning and make two – tree – four – five hundred or so and brings 'em into the locker room for … ummm … you know … a pre – game snack. “
Cosell: “You allow Aunt Tessie in the locker room before a game ? “
Amato: “ Fo – GEDDA – Bowd – id …. She feeds ‘em like there’s no tomorrah … Tessie even leads the team prayer … like our last game, fer example … they prayed to St. Gaetano “
Cosell: “ Gaetano? “
Amato: “ Yeah .. you know …. the Patron Saint of the fourth down conversion. “
Cosell: “ You sure , coach ? … I thought it was St. Peter … but what do I know ? … I’m Jewish “ .
Amato: Nah nah nah … Peter is strictly fer blocked field goals. …. Hey … here come my players ! … tell you what , … meet me here after the scrimmage in about tree hourz . I got a apperntment with my barber , Rocco. We’ll go together . Rocco is good people … I’ll slip him a DEUCE and he’ll squeeze you in with me.
Cosell: ( scratches his toupee gently )
Amato: After that we'll go have lunch! I’ll take ya to a JERNT called “Billy The Squid” for linguini and octopus … THE BEST, HOWIE .. THE BEST !!! … And the Calzones ???? … FA – GEDDA – BAU – DID …. Lemme’ run now … see youz later … Tree O’clock sharp Howie, Yundastand ? Oh … by the way ...
Amato: ( reaching into his pants ) “ Here !!! “ ( Amato underhands a pair of his signature sunglasses at Cosell )
( Cosell flinches )
Amato: "HERE - Have a pair of glasses, with my compliments !!!"
Cosell: ( fumbles glasses … picks them up … puts them on) “ Thanks Coach! ”
Amato: “ Yeah , take care, Pal “
********************************************
My friend Kenny insists that Chinese Women make the best lovers . He always says that no matter how many times he does it with one, he’s always horny an hour afterward.
********************************************
Will Rogers , The Great Humanitarian , once said :
“ I never met a man I didn’t like “
Makes me wonder what the recreational drug of choice was , back in the late 1800’s .
Tell you what, Will … take a trip over to The Middle East , then come back and let me hear you whistling the same tune.
********************************************
I've just about reached my yearly wagering goal ( A UConn Back Door TD , A Colossal Blunder by Favre , and a Matador Defense by The Texans stopped me from flying over it ... so I'll nibble on a few choice morsels this Sunday ) and when it happens for me I'll pack it in until ... well ... whenever I feel like waging the war once more .
Will keep working hard as usual and will post but I must tell you I won't have anything riding my stuff .
Football has been very good ... why leave while the going is good ?
That's my Discipline and I've been playing it exactly that way for over 2 decades.
Continued Success To All ,
See you Sunday
Neil
****************************************
A Real Life Hero…
For many years I’ve been a member of a golf club in Long Island and as is customary with most of the clubs when we’re not golfing we are playing cards … gin rummy mostly .
One of our elder statesman and a friend of mine is a fellow named Dr. Joseph Troisi … he loves gin rummy and he’s plays every Wednesday evening and Friday afternoon after an early round of golf.
Joseph is an Obstetrician ( A Doctor who specializes in delivering new born babies . )
Today is his birthday and he is 75 years young …. and he still practices what he once chose to be his life’s work … which is truly amazing in itself.
5 years ago for his 70th birthday he was honored with a surprise birthday party by 500 people, truly a celebration befitting such a man of enormous respect and dedication. But here’s the most amazing thing of all … Everyone who honored him that evening had one thing in common. Dr. Joseph delivered each and every person into this world who threw him his party. I know this to be true because a close friend of mine ( also a member of our club ) was one of the 500 … It was an incredible tribute for a wonderful man.
Later on this afternoon I’ll stop by and pay him a visit for his birthday. What will I give this man who has everything and more ?
Two Crates of Tally Ho Playing Cards, some personalized Gin Rummy Score Pads , a Great Big Hug of Affection , and a Kiss On His Cheek with Enormous Respect.
Happy Birthday Joe.
*********************************************
A Great Wagering Story Worth Sharing :
I told it last year in a BC thread but since there are many new faces I’d like to run it by you again. Here goes ….
One Friday afternoon around 10 years ago I was in the middle of playing gin in the card room at the club when my good friend “Jimmy Gags “ came over and said he needed to talk with me . I finished the hand and we went upstairs to the conference room .
Over a cup of coffee he told me that his sister was going out with one of the Mets’ pitchers and he was scheduled to start the next day at Shea … an afternoon game .
“So ” … Jimmy said … “ he doesn’t know it but late tonight over dinner, Sis is going to break up with him and it will be out of the blue . Gonna hit him like a ton of bricks …. he’s real sweet on her. The Mets are playing Houston and tomorrow they will be heavy favorites … let’s say he will not be at his best … Y’understand me ? “
Mind you now that Jimmy is a street person …. he owns a few Pepsi Cola routes in New York and has a certain way of expressing himself which leaves most people wetting their underwears.
“ Jim ” , I asked , “you sure he doesn’t have a clue ? “
“ Neilly … she and I had breakfast this morning … I’m her Big Brother …we’ve always been very close. She told me that even though she’s having lots of fun with him and all The Mets and their girlfriends and the parties and the games and everything … the truth is that he’s not very bright. “
We almost fell off our chairs we were both laughing so fucking hard … especially me.
“ Neil … Between you and me not for nuthin’ but this guy’s a fuckin’ Dumbell. Sis has to take this busted suitcase everywhere he goes cause he has a hard time fending for hisself . “
I was in tears … laughing so much I couldn’t breathe.
-Now Jimmy is a shooter and plays in a 50 cent Hollywood gin game with spades counting double … meaning that on an average day he wins or loses $10,000 …. And he plays 4 times a week. Me ? I play the 2 cent , sometimes 5 cent game with my regular group for years … great bunch of guys… lots of fun … and no one gets beaten up all that badly. I mention this because although I didn’t ask him how much he would be spreading around on Houston taking + 170 to + 180 , I shuttered to think of the size of his wager. I mean I stepped out on the game but he had that 2 fisted look on his face that was both scary and hysterically funny at the same time.
-So we both did what we had to do and sure enough the next day Houston was leading 11-0 in the 3rd inning because the Met “starter” was up all night drinking and depressed and so beat to shit and was in no way , shape, or form, prepared to pitch physically or psychologically.
-We didn’t see the game together but the next day we met at the club and got good and shit faced.
To this day we still look back and have a big laugh.
And , oh by the way, in case you’re wondering … we made damn sure we SPECIFIED THE PITCHER when we got down on the game … LOL .
*******************************************
Overall, I like the bowl matchups this year a lot . At first glance there are 6-7 major plays which stick out .
One in particular has caught my eye … Boston College vs. Boise St. , at Bronco Stadium in Idaho. Early feeling is that BC will kick the living crap out of their opponents in this one.
Strictly Men against Boys
Will keep you posted.
**********************************************
“The Wit and Wisdom of Gary Barnett”
With his team losing 42-3 at halftime last Saturday, Colorado Coach Gary Barnett was interviewed by classy ABC sideline guy Lynn Swann. When Swanny asked Barnett what he could do to turn things around in the 2nd half , his reply was : “ Well, we’re not going to panic. “
After hearing those remarkably compelling words I know I for one was a lot more confident that Colorado would stage a furious comeback and win the game going away .
Thanks Gary … have another Fifth of Jack , Bottle Nose.
His team, obviously moved by this Knute Rocknean Motivational Masterpiece , only lost by the final count of 70 – 3. ( and it’s a damn good thing that the 2 opposing coaches are off the field friends )
After the game while Longhorn Coach Mack Brown was receiving The Celebratory Gatorade Douche , The Buffs were on the opposite sideline pumping black coffee intravenously into the Alkie’s right arm so that he could walk off the field without tripping over his shoe laces and falling on his red nose.
I‘m reminded of the old saying :
“ Those who can’t do …. Teach “
I don’t agree with that … I have enormous respect for educators .
So I’ve amended it :
Those who can’t teach …. Teach Gym
And :
Those who can’t teach gym … become coaches For Colorado U.
**********************************************
I wonder if The Lions QB ‘s are roomates ? I picture Joey playing show tunes on the piano while Jeffy tip toes around in ballet slippers and a Tu Tu .
Ewwwwwwwwwwww !!!
( Sorry I broke my promise from last week )
**********************************************
Hadn’t seen an NBA game in a long while but last week I caught the 4th quarter of San Antonio – Dallas. FrankB had a 10* on The Spurs so , let’s say, I was a little curious. Here’s what I concluded:
Some things just never change and I haven’t missed a single thing since I stopped following basketball ….
1) You’ll never win a championship with Dirk Nowitski. He’s a self centered chucker , and his teammates should grab him up and remind him that it is, after all , a team sport . He’s good but he sucks.
2) Tim Duncan still has that same stupid expression on his face and some nights his mind is anywhere else but on the court.
3) Brent Barry is still a dumbass.
4) “2” is still the magic number in The NBA. Never lay 2 ½ on a basketball game for meaningful money … better yet … never bet The NBA for meaningful money … but all money is meaningful … Never bet The NBA, period.
**********************************************
In my younger days I spent lots of time with my grandfather . He gave me many toys. One day we played cards and went to the movies. He bought me jelly doughnuts and took me to the park and sat me down on a bench while he played “ Bocce” with his chronies . He always won and would gave me 5 dollars. Then we went to the circus and he bought me balloons . I had lots of fun that day.
I was 26
**********************************************
Why do football players kiss their hands and point them to the sky after making a play? Baseball players too . Who started this idiotic ritual anyway? It had to be someone. Was he praying ?
“ Oh Lord I give Thee Thanks for manipulating the trajectory of that forward pass … guiding it into my outstretched hands so that I may cradle it in full stride and with the greatest aplomb. “
Yeah Pal , that’s it . And he’s the same Lord who instilled the anger into the defensive back who then clotheslined that skinny assed , pencil neck of yours when you celebrated in the end zone.
**********************************************
If Howard Cosell were to interview Chuck Amato … ( On NC State’s practice field in preparation for their upcoming Bowl Game with South Florida on New Year’s Eve)
Cosell: “Coach Amato , why are you the only one here ? “
Amato: “ Hey Ain’t You? ….. ummmmmmmm …. Ain’t you? ………errrrrrrrr ……. Ain’t you DEAD ? …….. How Ya Doin’ Howie ? … I’m always here first for practices … it’s a tradition …. I like to greet the players one by one as they prepare to take the field … nuttin like a good slap on the ass to get em goin …. Besides, SOMEONE has to set up the buffet table”.
Cosell: “ Buffet table ? “
Amato: “ Yeah ... That’s right … On Wednesdays I serve scungilli , calamari , shrimp , mussels and lobsters. I go to the market every morning . You know what its like food shopping for 125 guys all built like a ’55 Buick ? ... and plus , all the stuff gotta be fresh , Howie , … otherwise …. they get THE TROTS … I can’t have that on the field.
Cosell.: “ No clams ? “
Amato: “ Nahhh … Clams is strictly for game day ... at the halftime intermission. You know that .”
Cosell: “ I Do ??? …. Errrrrrrrrrr …. “ You COOK for the players at halftime ? “
Amato: “ SHURE ….. Always … it’s a Ritual … I make white clam sauce for home games and red clam sauce when we’re away. And it’s Goddamn tough cookin’ in dem locker rooms on the road … the kitchen facilities are fer shit … imagine ? … not one deep fryer … no spaghetti pots … no condiments … So all my Sternos gotta be fired up in sync …. It’s like the screen pass, Howie … the timing has to be just right …
Cosell : “ It does ?
Amato: “ FO – GED – A – BAWD – IT “ …
Cosell: “ What else does the team like to eat ?”
Amato: “ Oh without a doubt … My Aunt Tessie’s Rice Balls … you know … with the cheese and the meat … fuggeddabowdit …. Yeah, she gets up early every Saturday morning and make two – tree – four – five hundred or so and brings 'em into the locker room for … ummm … you know … a pre – game snack. “
Cosell: “You allow Aunt Tessie in the locker room before a game ? “
Amato: “ Fo – GEDDA – Bowd – id …. She feeds ‘em like there’s no tomorrah … Tessie even leads the team prayer … like our last game, fer example … they prayed to St. Gaetano “
Cosell: “ Gaetano? “
Amato: “ Yeah .. you know …. the Patron Saint of the fourth down conversion. “
Cosell: “ You sure , coach ? … I thought it was St. Peter … but what do I know ? … I’m Jewish “ .
Amato: Nah nah nah … Peter is strictly fer blocked field goals. …. Hey … here come my players ! … tell you what , … meet me here after the scrimmage in about tree hourz . I got a apperntment with my barber , Rocco. We’ll go together . Rocco is good people … I’ll slip him a DEUCE and he’ll squeeze you in with me.
Cosell: ( scratches his toupee gently )
Amato: After that we'll go have lunch! I’ll take ya to a JERNT called “Billy The Squid” for linguini and octopus … THE BEST, HOWIE .. THE BEST !!! … And the Calzones ???? … FA – GEDDA – BAU – DID …. Lemme’ run now … see youz later … Tree O’clock sharp Howie, Yundastand ? Oh … by the way ...
Amato: ( reaching into his pants ) “ Here !!! “ ( Amato underhands a pair of his signature sunglasses at Cosell )
( Cosell flinches )
Amato: "HERE - Have a pair of glasses, with my compliments !!!"
Cosell: ( fumbles glasses … picks them up … puts them on) “ Thanks Coach! ”
Amato: “ Yeah , take care, Pal “
********************************************
My friend Kenny insists that Chinese Women make the best lovers . He always says that no matter how many times he does it with one, he’s always horny an hour afterward.
********************************************
Will Rogers , The Great Humanitarian , once said :
“ I never met a man I didn’t like “
Makes me wonder what the recreational drug of choice was , back in the late 1800’s .
Tell you what, Will … take a trip over to The Middle East , then come back and let me hear you whistling the same tune.
********************************************
I've just about reached my yearly wagering goal ( A UConn Back Door TD , A Colossal Blunder by Favre , and a Matador Defense by The Texans stopped me from flying over it ... so I'll nibble on a few choice morsels this Sunday ) and when it happens for me I'll pack it in until ... well ... whenever I feel like waging the war once more .
Will keep working hard as usual and will post but I must tell you I won't have anything riding my stuff .
Football has been very good ... why leave while the going is good ?
That's my Discipline and I've been playing it exactly that way for over 2 decades.
Continued Success To All ,
See you Sunday
Neil
****************************************
U-C-O-N-N = Uconn! Uconn! Uconn!
It's always noon somewhere! 
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