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Thanksgivings are lots of fun for me because every 5 years family from all over the country flies in and we have this great reunion weekend.
I'll pass along a story which my Aunt Clara told at the last one ….
Uncle Tony had retired and he and Clara went to the Social Security Office to apply for benefits. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. Tony looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He apologized and started to leave to go back home and get it.
The woman said: " Wait … come back here … unbutton your shirt "
Tony hesitated , then did what she asked, and the woman saw his curly, silvery, chest hair.
" That's proof enough for me " , the woman said … and she processed his benefits.
After he buttoned his shirt , Clara looked at him and said : " Now … drop your pants !!!! "
The woman and Tony just stared at her with a puzzled look on their faces.
Clara said : " Tony, as long as you're here , you might as well apply for Disability, too "
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Sure does look like The Honeymoon is over
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Amateurs practice until they get it right …
Tiger practices until he can't get it wrong
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I rear - ended someone last week ….
No, you sickos … a car
So there we were along side the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
Imagine how I felt when the other driver waddling towards me turned out to be a DWARF !!!!
He stormed over to my car , looked up at me , and screamed : " I am not HAPPY !!! "
So I looked down at him and said : Well then , which one are you ?
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Mike Dantoni … another bad Knick decision
He couldn't deliver a Championship with The Suns, who should have won 3 or 4 this decade … they were that damn good.
His team was the NBA's equivalent of The Harlem Globetrotters but he always managed to come up short …. Just like Nowitski ... but in a suit and tie.
It shouldn't take that long for the fans ( and the team ) to see right through him
In a few years he will have built a decent team , and then the real disappointment will happen.
Everyone will expect The Knicks to win …..
but they won't …..
they can't …….
They have the wrong man
Some people are just not Champions
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Help me out here .....
See these 2 gentlemen being jacked up by the Po-Po ?
The one on the right … is that Kobe ?
By now you know what I feel about the Campbell Soup Salesman …
Now there's not much left for him to do but heat up a huge pot of that chunky soup ...
Sit in front of the fireplace ....
And watch football on Sundays
Can't fake it any longer ... It's Over
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and all I'm hearing lately is that Andy Reid is soooo damn loyal to his Quarterback ...
And how is this a good thing ???????
Reid needs to be loyal is to the man who pays him ... PERIOD.
So he'd better straighten out, sack up, and make some hard nosed decisions real quick ...
Or else his fat ass just might get unemployed ...
Then Donovan will have a loyal playmate who can watch football and eat soup with on Sundays.
*************************************
The Look of Worry
You just know he had Texas Tech +7 last Saturday night.
You can almost always tell by his voice when this guy has bet the wrong side of the game he's announcing.
*************************************
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone !!!!
*********************************
I'll pass along a story which my Aunt Clara told at the last one ….
Uncle Tony had retired and he and Clara went to the Social Security Office to apply for benefits. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. Tony looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He apologized and started to leave to go back home and get it.
The woman said: " Wait … come back here … unbutton your shirt "
Tony hesitated , then did what she asked, and the woman saw his curly, silvery, chest hair.
" That's proof enough for me " , the woman said … and she processed his benefits.
After he buttoned his shirt , Clara looked at him and said : " Now … drop your pants !!!! "
The woman and Tony just stared at her with a puzzled look on their faces.
Clara said : " Tony, as long as you're here , you might as well apply for Disability, too "
***************************************
Sure does look like The Honeymoon is over
***************************************
Amateurs practice until they get it right …
Tiger practices until he can't get it wrong
**************************************
I rear - ended someone last week ….
No, you sickos … a car
So there we were along side the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
Imagine how I felt when the other driver waddling towards me turned out to be a DWARF !!!!
He stormed over to my car , looked up at me , and screamed : " I am not HAPPY !!! "
So I looked down at him and said : Well then , which one are you ?
*************************************
Mike Dantoni … another bad Knick decision
He couldn't deliver a Championship with The Suns, who should have won 3 or 4 this decade … they were that damn good.
His team was the NBA's equivalent of The Harlem Globetrotters but he always managed to come up short …. Just like Nowitski ... but in a suit and tie.
It shouldn't take that long for the fans ( and the team ) to see right through him
In a few years he will have built a decent team , and then the real disappointment will happen.
Everyone will expect The Knicks to win …..
but they won't …..
they can't …….
They have the wrong man
Some people are just not Champions
*************************************
Help me out here .....
See these 2 gentlemen being jacked up by the Po-Po ?
The one on the right … is that Kobe ?
************************************
By now you know what I feel about the Campbell Soup Salesman …
Now there's not much left for him to do but heat up a huge pot of that chunky soup ...
Sit in front of the fireplace ....
And watch football on Sundays
Can't fake it any longer ... It's Over
**************************************
and all I'm hearing lately is that Andy Reid is soooo damn loyal to his Quarterback ...
And how is this a good thing ???????
Reid needs to be loyal is to the man who pays him ... PERIOD.
So he'd better straighten out, sack up, and make some hard nosed decisions real quick ...
Or else his fat ass just might get unemployed ...
Then Donovan will have a loyal playmate who can watch football and eat soup with on Sundays.
*************************************
The Look of Worry
You just know he had Texas Tech +7 last Saturday night.
You can almost always tell by his voice when this guy has bet the wrong side of the game he's announcing.
*************************************
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone !!!!
*********************************
NBA is a joke
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