Roethlisberger Won't Appeal

[frankb03]

I dont know how much i believe of any of this, if he raped that girl in that bathroom, and i mean raped her, really, she isnt going to press charges?? Come on, yes she would, if she had bruising and his DNA pouring out of her his ass would be arrested, going to trial and then she would sue if he didnt go to jail. I dont buy that mess about being embarrased, if you were REALLY raped, you would stop at nothing to make whoever did pay for his crime.

JC, you couldn't be more wrong. Many rape victims live with shame. They never say a word about it for years. For many it's just easier for the trauma to just go away. They try to ignore it. Unfortunately, there's deep psychological effects from rape.

With all due respect, as a guy you shouldn't be passing your judgment that you'd do this or you'd stop at nothing to make him pay. Due some research on rape.

[frankb03]

wikipedia

Self blame
Main article: Blame#Self-blame

Self-blame is among the most common of both short- and long-term effects and functions as an avoidance coping skill that inhibits the healing process and can often be remedied by a cognitive therapy technique known as cognitive restructuring.

There are two main types of self blame: behavioral self blame (undeserved blame based on actions) and characterological self blame (undeserved blame based on character). Victims who experience behavioral self blame feel that they should have done something differently, and therefore feel at fault. Victims who experience characterological self blame feel there is something inherently wrong with them which has caused them to deserve to be assaulted.

A leading researcher on the psychological causes and effects of shame, June Tangney, lists five ways shame can be destructive:[15]

* lack of motivation to seek care;
* lack of empathy;
* cutting themselves off from other people;
* anger;
* aggression.

Tangney says shame has a special link to anger. "In day-to-day life, when people are shamed and angry they tend to be motivated to get back at a person and get revenge."

In addition, shame is connected to psychological problems - such as eating disorders, substance abuse, anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders as well as problematic moral behavior. In one study over several years shame-prone kids were prone to substance abuse, earlier sexual activity, less safe sexual activity, and involvement with the criminal justice system.[15]

Behavioral self blame is associated with feelings of guilt within the victim. While the belief that one had control during the assault (past control) is associated with greater psychological distress, the belief that one has more control during the recovery process (present control) is associated with less distress, less withdrawal, and more cognitive reprocessing.[16]

Counseling responses found helpful in reducing self blame are supportive responses, psychoeducational responses (learning about rape trauma syndrome) and those responses addressing the issue of blame.[17] A helpful type of therapy for self blame is cognitive restructuring or cognitive-behavioral therapy. Cognitive reprocessing is the process of taking the facts and forming a logical conclusion from them that is less influenced by shame or guilt.[18]

[frankb03]

Victim blaming
Main article: Victim blaming

The term Victim blaming refers to holding the victim of a crime to be responsible for that crime, either in whole or in part. In the context of rape, it refers to the attitude that certain victim behaviors (such as flirting or wearing sexually provocative clothing) may have encouraged the assault. In extreme cases, victims are said to have "asked for it" simply by not behaving demurely.

[mavskidd02]

It is true that many rape victims never say a word, but she did, and after it's been through the media and all the talk, I don't see why, either way, she wouldn't go through with the child after it's already been made so public.

[mavskidd02]

Victim blaming
Main article: Victim blaming

The term Victim blaming refers to holding the victim of a crime to be responsible for that crime, either in whole or in part. In the context of rape, it refers to the attitude that certain victim behaviors (such as flirting or wearing sexually provocative clothing) may have encouraged the assault. In extreme cases, victims are said to have "asked for it" simply by not behaving demurely.

That's not what's going on here at all, Frank.

[frankb03]

He probably is guilty, and used money to buy himself out. But the NFL isn't the police. People have done and been convicted of a lot things that the NFL has turned a blind eye to. So to suspend someone for 6 games who by our legal system's standards is "innocent", I think is a little much.

No, the legal system did not say he was INNOCENT. The DA said there wasn't enough proof for a conviction. BIG DIFFERENCE! The DA basically said he felt Ben was guilty of a crime but couldn't prove it.

Again, I disagree with you on the NFL policy. The NFL IS the police. The NFL is like any other business. People are fired from jobs every day for various types of misconduct. This is no different.

In our professions and jobs we have certain rules, standards and expectations. As an example, many jobs have rules against dating co-workers. Even ESPN fired Steve Philips for having an affair with an assistant. There was no crime committed. Yet, he was stilled fired.

Also, why do you think Ben or the players association didn't appeal the NFL ruling? They've appealed almost every other suspension.

[frankb03]

That's not what's going on here at all, Frank.

Are you kidding? Look at JC's post. You don't think she'd be dragged through the mud by Steeler fans and Ben's fans.

You really don't think she'd be dragged through the mud? Why she went in the hall? Why did she follow Ben to the bar. She was wearing a pin that basically meant "I'm Fuckable". It was a sorority sister joke.

[mavskidd02]

Also, why do you think Ben or the players association didn't appeal the NFL ruling? They've appealed almost every other suspension.

Because as much as you think the victim wants this to go away, Ben does too. I'm sure Ben thinks the suspension is a little much too, but the hell if his PR people will let him say so.

[mavskidd02]

Are you kidding? Look at JC's post. You don't think she'd be dragged through the mud by Steeler fans and Ben's fans.

I haven't seen or heard one thing where people are saying "she asked for it", or "she got what she deserved", which is essentially what victim blaming is.

[frankb03]

I haven't seen or heard one thing where people are saying "she asked for it", or "she got what she deserved", which is essentially what victim blaming is.

You are right. They didn't. You don't think on the stand in court Ben's attorney's wouldn't. Unfortunately, in rape trials defense lawyers often victimize the victim, AGAIN.

She was wearing a pin with initials. I don't remember the exact initials but they stood for "I like to fuck" or something similar. Ben commented on the initials telling the girl "I like to fuck girls". There's no doubt she'd be drilled in court for wearing that pin.

[mavskidd02]

You are right. They didn't. You don't think on the stand in court Ben's attorney's wouldn't. Unfortunately, in rape trials defense lawyers often victimize the victim, AGAIN.

She was wearing a pin with initials. I don't remember the exact initials but they stood for "I like to fuck" or something similar. Ben commented on the initials telling the girl "I like to fuck girls". There's no doubt she'd be drilled in court for wearing that pin.

Agree, she likely would have,. However in terms of the media, the gear is certainly more shifted toward "Ben is a menace" than victim blaming.

[frankb03]

I dont know how much i believe of any of this, if he raped that girl in that bathroom, and i mean raped her, really, she isnt going to press charges?? Come on, yes she would

Your post really pisses me off and quite frankly your reply oozes with ignorance. I mean no disrespect but unless you know a rape victim intimately you should not pass judgment how they would or should react.

A close friend was a victim of abuse when she was 12. She was abused by her step-dad. She's now 37. She has suffered for 25 years. Mostly quietly. Over the last year she's been in therapy. In that time I've gotten to know many of the patients in her therapy. When you hear their stories of rape. When you hear their nightmares. The history of alcohol, drugs, lack of trust etc due to the abuse or rape is sad. Most suffer silently. 84% of rape victims do not report the crime.

In my friends case when the abuse came out the guy was arrested. Some of her family and friends convinced her to tell the police she made up the story so the charges would be dropped.. The step-dad's family were calling her a whore. SHE WAS 12!

So please refrain from making ignorant and uneducated opinion on this issue.

[frankb03]

Agree, she likely would have,. However in terms of the media, the gear is certainly more shifted toward "Ben is a menace" than victim blaming.

Again, I agree with you. The media has been mostly anti-Ben. I don't believe that would have changed.

I posted that mostly as a response to JC on his opinions on rape victims and how they would definitely report the crime when in most cases they don't report the rape.

[harold_bush]

He probably is guilty, and used money to buy himself out. But the NFL isn't the police. People have done and been convicted of a lot things that the NFL has turned a blind eye to. So to suspend someone for 6 games who by our legal system's standards is "innocent", I think is a little much.

Honestly if this would have been the first ever show of poor judgement shown by Ben I think he would have been looking at two games or less. However, Ben has a history that is public record, and often times the NFL investigators know more than what the public knows, so there could be more that we dont' know about. What we do know is that this is the THIRD on the record issue involving some form of sexual assault/rape allegation. Again, who knows if there are more allegations that we aren't aware of that the NFL is. The league is not going to put up with anyone degrading the NFL shield, and Ben has clearly done that. He is one of the higher profile guys in the league, and with that.......like it or not........comes more responsibility.

[harold_bush]

Agree, she likely would have,. However in terms of the media, the gear is certainly more shifted toward "Ben is a menace" than victim blaming.

She isn't pushing the case though. It makes no sense for Ben's legal team to go on the attack agaisnt the victim b/c they owuld just look like bullies for no reason and make this worse for Ben. Trust me, if this case was proceeding to trial I can assure you that the victim blaming would begin. It hasn't yet b/c there is no reason to do so w. no case being pushed.

Ben is also being made out to be a menace b/c that is basically what it is.