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By Deepa Babington
Mon Nov 7,10:03 AM ET
NEW YORK (Reuters) - It took Natasha a day trip to Moscow to find the American husband she had dreamed of. It took the next six years to get out of the nightmare that followed.
A music teacher from central Russia, she was one of 200 Russian women who patiently lined up at a Moscow restaurant to meet 10 American men at a gathering hosted by a mail-order bride agency.
She spoke no English but immediately caught the eye of one of the men, 16 years her senior. He was handsome and said he wanted the same things she did: a loving family and children. They went to museums and the theater with an interpreter, and he started the paperwork to bring her to the United States as his wife.
The fairy tale ended eight months later. Natasha, who would only be identified using a pseudonym, had barely set foot in the United States when her new husband began to abuse her sexually, disappeared for weeks at a stretch, threatened anyone who tried to befriend her and forced her to sign a post-nuptial agreement.
Thrown out of their house after two years of abuse, Natasha was left to fend for herself in an unfamiliar country with minimal English skills and no legal documents to work.
"He told me I was the most expensive toy he ever bought," said Natasha, who has since divorced and had her immigration case reopened with the help of a women's group after gaining official status as an abused spouse.
Womens' rights advocates say Natasha's case is hardly unique in the world of mail-order brides. Indeed, anecdotal evidence suggests it is becoming increasingly common. Three mail-order brides have even been killed by their husbands in the last 10 years in the United States.
Once the domain of those unlucky in love, mail-order bride Web sites are now increasingly being prowled by predatory abusers and serial rapists, says Layli Miller-Muro, of the Virginia-based Tahirih Justice Center which represents several abused brides. A survey by the group found that 50 percent of 175 U.S. legal-aid groups had been approached by abused mail-order brides, she said.
MARRIAGES GO 'HORRIBLY WRONG'
As more cases of battered brides come to light, a small but growing movement to curb such abuse is gathering momentum.
Spurred by the deaths of two brides in Washington state, a new bill aimed at giving foreign brides more legal rights is now before Congress. It will require the brides be informed of any spouse's criminal record and prevent American men from applying for several fiancee visas at the same time -- ending a loophole that critics say currently allows a "wife lottery."
"The statistics will show that many of these marriages work out great," said U.S. Rep. Rick Larsen (news, bio, voting record) from Washington state, where two of the three women were murdered. "The problem is when things go wrong, they go horribly wrong."
Last year, Nataliya Fox, a bride who was beaten by her husband while breast-feeding their child, sued and won the first lawsuit against an Internet bride agency. That agency offered a satisfaction guarantee for men: If the first wife didn't work out, the next one was free, says Miller-Muro.
"The way international marriage brokers operate currently, they make themselves an easy conduit for predatory abusers to find their next victim," says Miller-Muro.
Mail order bride agencies balk at the suggestion that it's their responsibility to help prevent abuse.
"Just like when you go on a date in America, how do you know this person isn't a (Charles) Manson?" said Craig Jay Rich, who married a Russian woman and founded A Volga Girl, which pairs clients with Russian women. In six years, only two couples who met through the agency have divorced, he says.
AGENCIES BOOM
All this comes as the mail-order bride business continues to grow, fueled largely by the Internet.
In 1999, an Immigration and Naturalization Service study found over 200 agencies that paired 4,000 to 6,000 American men each year with foreign women, mostly from Eastern Europe and Asia. Two years ago, that had mushroomed to over 500 agencies.
Though some critics believe the business is just a few steps short of trafficking in women, most agree that many men who use them are sincere in their efforts to find a soulmate.
Many who turn to the agencies want a traditional and loyal woman.
That's partly what drove Chris Testa to a mail-order bride. After eye problems nearly cost him his vision and several dates that led to nothing, he forked out $90 to search for women on the Volga Girl Web site.
He soon began writing to a demure girl called Elena Zharkova from Togliatti, a town 600 miles south of Moscow.
Testa finally made his way to Russia to meet Zharkova and two other prospective brides. Eight days later, after an excursion on a tugboat, he had made his choice.
"She was the only one who wanted to meet me at the airport and she took a week off from work," said Testa, a tall New Jerseyan with a mustache, who spent $16,000 to find her.
The couple married this summer. Zharkova says she is happy.
"I always knew he was the one for me," she said in halting English at a Manhattan diner, holding on to Testa's arm as she sipped tea. "I have a feeling now like I was born here."
Mon Nov 7,10:03 AM ET
NEW YORK (Reuters) - It took Natasha a day trip to Moscow to find the American husband she had dreamed of. It took the next six years to get out of the nightmare that followed.
A music teacher from central Russia, she was one of 200 Russian women who patiently lined up at a Moscow restaurant to meet 10 American men at a gathering hosted by a mail-order bride agency.
She spoke no English but immediately caught the eye of one of the men, 16 years her senior. He was handsome and said he wanted the same things she did: a loving family and children. They went to museums and the theater with an interpreter, and he started the paperwork to bring her to the United States as his wife.
The fairy tale ended eight months later. Natasha, who would only be identified using a pseudonym, had barely set foot in the United States when her new husband began to abuse her sexually, disappeared for weeks at a stretch, threatened anyone who tried to befriend her and forced her to sign a post-nuptial agreement.
Thrown out of their house after two years of abuse, Natasha was left to fend for herself in an unfamiliar country with minimal English skills and no legal documents to work.
"He told me I was the most expensive toy he ever bought," said Natasha, who has since divorced and had her immigration case reopened with the help of a women's group after gaining official status as an abused spouse.
Womens' rights advocates say Natasha's case is hardly unique in the world of mail-order brides. Indeed, anecdotal evidence suggests it is becoming increasingly common. Three mail-order brides have even been killed by their husbands in the last 10 years in the United States.
Once the domain of those unlucky in love, mail-order bride Web sites are now increasingly being prowled by predatory abusers and serial rapists, says Layli Miller-Muro, of the Virginia-based Tahirih Justice Center which represents several abused brides. A survey by the group found that 50 percent of 175 U.S. legal-aid groups had been approached by abused mail-order brides, she said.
MARRIAGES GO 'HORRIBLY WRONG'
As more cases of battered brides come to light, a small but growing movement to curb such abuse is gathering momentum.
Spurred by the deaths of two brides in Washington state, a new bill aimed at giving foreign brides more legal rights is now before Congress. It will require the brides be informed of any spouse's criminal record and prevent American men from applying for several fiancee visas at the same time -- ending a loophole that critics say currently allows a "wife lottery."
"The statistics will show that many of these marriages work out great," said U.S. Rep. Rick Larsen (news, bio, voting record) from Washington state, where two of the three women were murdered. "The problem is when things go wrong, they go horribly wrong."
Last year, Nataliya Fox, a bride who was beaten by her husband while breast-feeding their child, sued and won the first lawsuit against an Internet bride agency. That agency offered a satisfaction guarantee for men: If the first wife didn't work out, the next one was free, says Miller-Muro.
"The way international marriage brokers operate currently, they make themselves an easy conduit for predatory abusers to find their next victim," says Miller-Muro.
Mail order bride agencies balk at the suggestion that it's their responsibility to help prevent abuse.
"Just like when you go on a date in America, how do you know this person isn't a (Charles) Manson?" said Craig Jay Rich, who married a Russian woman and founded A Volga Girl, which pairs clients with Russian women. In six years, only two couples who met through the agency have divorced, he says.
AGENCIES BOOM
All this comes as the mail-order bride business continues to grow, fueled largely by the Internet.
In 1999, an Immigration and Naturalization Service study found over 200 agencies that paired 4,000 to 6,000 American men each year with foreign women, mostly from Eastern Europe and Asia. Two years ago, that had mushroomed to over 500 agencies.
Though some critics believe the business is just a few steps short of trafficking in women, most agree that many men who use them are sincere in their efforts to find a soulmate.
Many who turn to the agencies want a traditional and loyal woman.
That's partly what drove Chris Testa to a mail-order bride. After eye problems nearly cost him his vision and several dates that led to nothing, he forked out $90 to search for women on the Volga Girl Web site.
He soon began writing to a demure girl called Elena Zharkova from Togliatti, a town 600 miles south of Moscow.
Testa finally made his way to Russia to meet Zharkova and two other prospective brides. Eight days later, after an excursion on a tugboat, he had made his choice.
"She was the only one who wanted to meet me at the airport and she took a week off from work," said Testa, a tall New Jerseyan with a mustache, who spent $16,000 to find her.
The couple married this summer. Zharkova says she is happy.
"I always knew he was the one for me," she said in halting English at a Manhattan diner, holding on to Testa's arm as she sipped tea. "I have a feeling now like I was born here."