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PC Incorrect But True
Been a little busy trying to make some Coin....
But still have time for humor ...
Bada bing bada boom... (this one's for you Joe)
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, an ear of corn and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually.'
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any change'? I said, 'Nope, you're still black.'
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting eight inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance, with a face like that'!
A 10-year-old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks, 'What's wrong, lad'? The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' the man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment.'
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist bullshit. I loved the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or plane and think to yourself, 'I'm gonna take that bag.'
A man in a hot air balloon lost over Iowa. Looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts out, 'Where am I'? The farmer looks back up and yells back, 'You're in a basket, you dumb fvck!
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question, which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer. Hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
DAWG'S Truism... I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
But still have time for humor ...
Bada bing bada boom... (this one's for you Joe)
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, an ear of corn and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually.'
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any change'? I said, 'Nope, you're still black.'
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting eight inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance, with a face like that'!
A 10-year-old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks, 'What's wrong, lad'? The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' the man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment.'
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist bullshit. I loved the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or plane and think to yourself, 'I'm gonna take that bag.'
A man in a hot air balloon lost over Iowa. Looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts out, 'Where am I'? The farmer looks back up and yells back, 'You're in a basket, you dumb fvck!
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question, which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer. Hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
DAWG'S Truism... I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.