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If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and
>its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These
>great questions and answers are from the days when
>" Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
>spontaneous and clever, never scripted or dull.
>
>Peter Marshall was the host asking these questions, of
>course.
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
>water long enough.
>
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
>how high should you be?
>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
>should do it.
>
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
>years.
>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
>sometimes.
>
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
>probably a man or a woman?
>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger
>at a party and you think that he is attractive, is
>it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
>
>A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
>
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
>get older?
>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
>say "I Love You"?
>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a
>pineapple and a twenty.
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more
>or less with your hands while talking?
>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more "growing old"
>question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you' ll
>never forget.
>
>
>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
>Are you going to get any during the first year?
>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
>growing strawberries.
>
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
>subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what
>is the other?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
>in the closet?
>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe
>in the bedroom.
>
>
>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
>tail. What will a goose do?
>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would
>you give birth to?
>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
>afraid of the dark.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
>with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
>people?
>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
>body, what is it?
>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
>isn't neglected.
>
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
>horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
>
>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
>your wife or your elephant?
>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for
>its sex?
>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest
>is up to him.
>
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
>believes in them and has actually seen them on at
>least two occasions. What are they?
>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
>should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and
>laugh.
>its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These
>great questions and answers are from the days when
>" Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
>spontaneous and clever, never scripted or dull.
>
>Peter Marshall was the host asking these questions, of
>course.
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
>water long enough.
>
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
>how high should you be?
>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
>should do it.
>
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
>years.
>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
>sometimes.
>
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
>probably a man or a woman?
>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger
>at a party and you think that he is attractive, is
>it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
>
>A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
>
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
>get older?
>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
>say "I Love You"?
>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a
>pineapple and a twenty.
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more
>or less with your hands while talking?
>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more "growing old"
>question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you' ll
>never forget.
>
>
>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
>Are you going to get any during the first year?
>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
>growing strawberries.
>
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
>subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what
>is the other?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
>in the closet?
>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe
>in the bedroom.
>
>
>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
>tail. What will a goose do?
>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would
>you give birth to?
>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
>afraid of the dark.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
>with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
>people?
>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
>body, what is it?
>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
>isn't neglected.
>
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
>horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
>
>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
>your wife or your elephant?
>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for
>its sex?
>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest
>is up to him.
>
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
>believes in them and has actually seen them on at
>least two occasions. What are they?
>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
>should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and
>laugh.