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Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

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  • Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

    Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

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    Save My Iced Grande Latte!
    By Greg Mankiw

    News from Scrappleface:

    Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

    Democrats in Congress today plan to introduce a bill to halt the recently-announced closing of some 600 Starbucks coffee stores, noting that the displacement of 12,000 Starbucks baristas would overwhelm government aid offices not prepared to handle so many clients for whom English is a second language....

    "These people can't just walk out of Starbucks and get a job at a grocery store or a factory," said House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-CA. "They would need ESL classes and cultural training to learn how to relate to ordinary Americans and function in society."...

    "This is just another one of our heroic Democrat efforts to protect Americans from the impact of the Bush economic policies," said Rep. Pelosi. "Under this president, America has become a cold and desolate place where corporations cut unprofitable activities to focus on increasing the bottom line, and returning value to shareholders. When Democrats retake the White House next year, we will reverse that trend."
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."
    -- Sir Winston Churchill

    When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.
    --Benjamin Franklin
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